A letter from the past

Dear FutureMe, hey you, it's been a while so you know at the time I am writing this we are 18. life Is hard. a year ago our grandpa died and not having him around is hard. he was our rock a person we can rely on no matter what. but he is not here anymore so ur panic attacks happen more often. we freak out about the tiniest things . our ODC has gotten worse it takes us more time to get to bed than we use to. I hope we found a way to cope with it. yesterday we saw nick at yummy sushi with his new girlfriend. he gave me a weird look, not a mean one but one like he didn't want to see. I went to kaydences house crying because he took her to the place we had our first date and that is the place I showed him and I go to a lot. I have now vowed to make his life when he is near me a living hell cuz he is stuck with me for life whether he likes it or not. would I still be his friend yea but I going to make life a little hard for him. I mean I still love him but it is hard seeing him with someone else. if we started talking in the future and he asked me out again would I date him yes. I think is the one guy I will always go back to. so I hope maybe we have become friends again or something more. as for college it ok ig, hope we become a teacher I hope all this pain is worth it. now as for my friend me and kat, and kaydence are still friends. kaydences finally apologized. so we are on good terms her boyfriend still hates me. I don't think they are going to last. they have been fighting so much I think it is coming to an end. i don't think me and Shanti are going to be close after college. But the advice I would give to you now is to please live your life to the fullest go to class study pass college become a teacher to help the kids that don't understand like you didn't. Meet new people make new friends maybe start dating people maybe even talk to your dad about all the problems he put you through and how you feel about it talk to your brother more cause I think he's one person that is always going to be there and will understand what happened to you as a kid please do these things for me so we can have a future it's better than hot I love you I wish you the best, Abigail dellene Elizabeth Zaeske kinder P.S I hope we changed our name to the one we want.