A letter from Jan 15th, 2022

Dear me, I know how ******* hard everything had been in 2021 and maybe even this year (2022). I know how many times you are thinking about ending it all and not wanting to live like that anymore. I’m writing you because I feel like ******* dying at the moment and I am failing school. I sleep a lot to escape from reality and life, I wash my hair so people wouldn’t notice I don’t take showers, I chew on gum and drink water to stop eating and I never show my teeth because I don’t brush it. I really hope you are not doing that anymore, because it’s just pulling u down and holding back from doing things. I also recently had my first y’know? I know u still think about it, because you get obsessed with someone or something way too quickly. Please try to do more for yourself and stop being so lazy. I hate to say it but: you have been really depressed 2021 and probably even now 2022. So please don’t shut any more doors, it will only be hard to open so many heavy doors again. Im recently thinking really ****** about myself. I barley have any confidence or anything nice to say about myself but I do take pictures, with Snapchat filters over it. I hope you’re not thinking about ******* yourself because, HELLO? We can’t die as a virgin 😟 But that’s it so far. Take care of Mama und den kleinen Ratten, bye.