A letter from Dec 26th, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, Hey! Long time no see, obviously its been a moment. How is life going? How are your grades? Hope you got the grades you really wanted to get, well us. Right around this time next year we would have set out our University applications, and would have already done so much. I am so proud of you. I know you could so much. I love you. Did we apply to all the universities that we wanted to apply to, it might have been really risky being all BMAT but...? Hope we did that application to Cambridge? If you did, around this time you would have to be doing your Cambridge interviews, if so this email will be some motivation, if so, You've obviously worked so hard, nobody deserves it more than you. I know how hard you've worked (yeah duh I'm you). You are just as capable as everyone else that is going to be there. Please just do you A-Level revision and you will be fine. You have done the hardest part. I can promise you that. Well until you reach medical school but you already know that. It might only be a year from now but you know how it can be, a moment can change the whole course of one's life. How are your friends? Still friends with all the people you made friends with? Even better made more friends? Do you still sing your heart out everyday, even if it bother everyone around you just because you like it? Do you still play the Piano? How's it going with learning the guitar? I hope its going better than what going with right now- How's the dog? How's Dad and our Sister doing? Do we get the diagnosis that we've been waiting for? (probably not but its a good wish to have). How's it been in the relationship department? Hope it's been doing well because you'll remember it's a little lonely out here... Do you have that person who you can unconditionally go to when you want to go talk to? Someone that I really need right now. I really do hope everything is going much better than what is going now. Most importantly, how have you been mentally? Really? There is something that I really need to tell you, something really important, no matter how you feel, no matter how broken you are at the moment. I will always love you. I don't know if you still need to know this, but I probably would have loved to hear this from past me. There is nothing that could stop me from loving you. No matter what, little you will love you with all she has. P.S. Faith says Hi Written, To, 16 Year old you. 17 Year old you.

Epilogue

42 minutes later

Hi past me,

Oh how much I would love to scoop you up and give you the biggest hug ever. I'm so happy you decided to live. Best. Decision. Ever....

T,thihlggwei rayt,p a ifrts fo otg yuo enrat' and tish ntew dlsieera to ejeyrwl eyar uoy ostl olst uyro. Gebgits uyo ightn edlnrea htat lla, ofluyrse eolv fo to the saw. Nda lal s'taht htta elalry sttaemr. Ay,s uhtohg resida on can ohw bit etlssghit a,nnetttoi give uyo oerngl gsyu heav eslngi, chsea nda yuo hte fo ruoy i ilslt asddrnast. . . Htugoh clrnytee olny. Eweao,ms we ,ede ywa gnigo tkhin uro a we eodmparc i ruo ondgi sgrdae rae ellw !go ahve to aemowes ot and ongl ear ,ba*a lstli.
Ackb silardee tdei )ntihnyga i tujs (i ntca' go nad. .
So ensnai yanm idefs,rn s'it adme oyu vhae. Anc maunh a gsuy alkt to gbine oyu ekil rluegra nda. .
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Ot a in odctor ocbeem ddedice a uen,j go iotn aesvmsi dan erechsra ew edam htna rodute medalic. Cliylbasa do dan ot to plieapd lnaruta were nikgihtn cdddeei oyu iss,nceec owt bouta. Mboeec tihw srfeof wno sadgre niu aeeowms isytiiphbc,os and a yuo ot tawn and wto. Ti od i ew can ihntk. Ucl outab or rletyrcun gogni ot urmdah khitgnni oyu era. Dnepsde foefr eth yuo veigs if ulc. Cdeidde irhtg demees ,emti ubt ,ldyas reedjtec cgemaidbr ouy ofmr tfi we ewti,rvnie eht thoghu tgo wree it at htirg a eyht rofeeb. Me tish aery, satl aveh giinainmg wdlou erehdatst nadeigr. Aveh oggin dna is hmu,c os ewll yngevherit tub nowgr so ew. .
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Can to ,het in anc ygnaihtn agchen it om,metn ehnw a ti soecm. Yuo ti one all drea for ffndrteie boko swa onit dctoierni koot uoy a elwho otrwh ni feli ot to. Ahetr veery yuro olwlfo a,sys uret ouy ydates cdiedde its htwa nda ot.
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My i have i eth igns rgtea ot ugtria we ggino rea d(an nda uto het pi,noa trahe n,goivp!)!rmi is i lltis asy lyap. Crhods but a ouy do few okay tnca' its. . . Ouy tmos ac'tn wlel mhet tager fo sti iggno utb od. Oclle hte aelyrl rof icdkpe angia, inivlo dna ieraynng aols a up ouye'v. Ddas uslbatleyo uoy item fo uoy anc cumsi isck obtau eht ellt lal i lintagk. .
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Is and my seoewam het ssreit ongid hte ear add b,de lpeigesn ta dgo clertnryu of ofot. Aordab pisrt yamn it wten swa oyu yzcra so on. Cdneidenepne uyo rodelxpe uoy. Ompanht efer eth apoer tgo ikiw dnonlo a ot taiston erid nvee ceni in aws a by nda uyo choca fo teh. Nad i ipan rsiets illts uro hcum rou ni l,oscer got tsutb' teh. Vedmo mo,or ermlsla yuo etru oitn eacm oryu het swhi. Tre'na hte oymnrea acpert yr!caz sti lrofso.
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Of tmos eawtdn ew gto hte hwit oorsd'ct sutff einoaddsg tihw teh ew. Tagre otg oyu nreudt rypeath, otu adn vtnieyrhge. Had ew tub waalys korw hpdrssiah ti bconeu cak,b edma we tshi eayr, eubcaes aymn yuo. Rouy nefi elspe is gngoi dc,eeersad uhmc tpyter avhe ryuo iegainmsr. Tath lslti gto reemnattt tge iwtiang to aedgnsiod itwh utb are oyu nreopesids. Cuinsga eth aws kmgnai miet ntdaemicoi uoy at eewr srowe pisenrdeos het teh no. Naodicetim new you era so g,wro sllti had a enw ihtw teh but hcmu onep!sr to ilek.
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Ew tsi uhogth yebma tllis yb cehcio len,igs wno. Bene sstorui utb rheet alsseoh ofr ogngi tmras ouy veah eekp het. Evol idd allf uoy ni guy a eht on usb with. . Kosep enev him ot nveer tguhoh yuo. Nese yuo c!aryz he butao ay,m uhtgoh epodpp yranuja lto avtnhe' ti thnki was hmi pu, isnec dna uyo a ltsli mih. Tnaws ntihk but tib a i the eatrh iwgronyr tahw sti. Ouy ucdase the ltsil htat silnte dan you atth aliepsc adn ot woh oyru utb nv,ee siht eayr ew hvae lla lla msoneoe 'dnot teoruslb all iefshicm illw of aevh haev. Uyo mtso hte ot lilw fo ,lal osrnpe all 2220 most ktal ltak in teh of but yo,lpen to yrou uoy sferdin iedaserl ouy. Elfoysru.
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Dogin tl,mnalye evha at,gre emwoesa! yedra eenb cmkso gittgne i orf ruo. Osal sa uyo na a evlel lsao phsiysc n,efashlws now do. Htd,ae ni to si eys tstha you ,htrgi epursu het aleiyctv wnta het ifel you won cutsejb cutebsj. Hwo h?tta is uynfn.
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Ps. Saol arye ltdo hi em atth i hse fhati ot isda a gao. Llo.

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