A letter from Dec 26th, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, Hey! Long time no see, obviously its been a moment. How is life going? How are your grades? Hope you got the grades you really wanted to get, well us. Right around this time next year we would have set out our University applications, and would have already done so much. I am so proud of you. I know you could so much. I love you. Did we apply to all the universities that we wanted to apply to, it might have been really risky being all BMAT but...? Hope we did that application to Cambridge? If you did, around this time you would have to be doing your Cambridge interviews, if so this email will be some motivation, if so, You've obviously worked so hard, nobody deserves it more than you. I know how hard you've worked (yeah duh I'm you). You are just as capable as everyone else that is going to be there. Please just do you A-Level revision and you will be fine. You have done the hardest part. I can promise you that. Well until you reach medical school but you already know that. It might only be a year from now but you know how it can be, a moment can change the whole course of one's life. How are your friends? Still friends with all the people you made friends with? Even better made more friends? Do you still sing your heart out everyday, even if it bother everyone around you just because you like it? Do you still play the Piano? How's it going with learning the guitar? I hope its going better than what going with right now- How's the dog? How's Dad and our Sister doing? Do we get the diagnosis that we've been waiting for? (probably not but its a good wish to have). How's it been in the relationship department? Hope it's been doing well because you'll remember it's a little lonely out here... Do you have that person who you can unconditionally go to when you want to go talk to? Someone that I really need right now. I really do hope everything is going much better than what is going now. Most importantly, how have you been mentally? Really? There is something that I really need to tell you, something really important, no matter how you feel, no matter how broken you are at the moment. I will always love you. I don't know if you still need to know this, but I probably would have loved to hear this from past me. There is nothing that could stop me from loving you. No matter what, little you will love you with all she has. P.S. Faith says Hi Written, To, 16 Year old you. 17 Year old you.

Epilogue

42 minutes later

Hi past me,

Oh how much I would love to scoop you up and give you the biggest hug ever. I'm so happy you decided to live. Best. Decision. Ever....

Jeyrwel teli,hgiwhgt you ilsaered yuo ot ftris isht nad of a sotl tenw ay,trp ltso uroy tn'aer tgo aery. Aws eht thta love ot fo ghitn suelroyf radneel ebstigg ll,a yuo. Srematt all atht arelyl dna atsh't. Dirsea ,asy aevh cshae adn on i ruoy thghou eht orlneg uoy usgy bti sllti nit,etntoa dnssatrda owh tiehslgst geiv ,ligsen fo oyu nca. . . Nryeltce lnoy thugho. Odngi are era o!g eahv ,b*aa ot nad wemsoae wya nggio we ew ,dee i mesew,ao ruo itknh still gdsrea wlle a armedpco ruo nolg to.
I( deit tusj i kacb og agnihny)t ilsadeer cn'ta nda. .
'tsi anym ahve seainn sdi,rnef maed so yuo. Ekli cna a sygu you altk nhuma and enigb rragule to. .
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Tdeour ew a veamsis to otni ddeedci emcebo j,neu crhrseae nda dcieaml a go ni toocdr nhat edma. Yuo reew two ot liaacysbl cessi,nec daplpei do ot iigthnnk iddceed ratulna dna tabuo. Inu ot owt wno dsager nad and htwi fosfer ouy ssyihib,otipc ewseamo omcbee tnaw a. Od i it nac kinth we. Duhmar ro uoy cul aer nluerrtcy gogin ot ignktnih otbau. Sdpndee fi lcu efrfo het isgve you. ,dayls it huohgt yeth orfm it,me yuo hte te,eiviwrn rbdgeciam ta weer irght erobef fit tcjeerde a dddceie deemes ghrit tbu gto we. Re,ya mginiigan aedtehtrs duolw ehav em tshi egainrd lsta. So ubt ew dna yitgenvrhe cum,h is heav wlel os rowng onigg. .
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Ti a ot tyhingan eht, can hanecg acn in hwne ti mnemot, cmose. Ti efnftderi rdae ni a noe uyo tcdeirion lwohe lal uyo koot fro onit to ot ielf obok rohtw asw. Rouy edddiec etur oowfll s,ysa to adn saetdy yuo thare tis athw eyvre.
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Oia,pn taigur teh iirv!p)o,mg!n ays to nda eth ym i great onigg are i uto ahter is ahev nsig aply sllit ew a(dn i. Ubt okay its od ouy a 'nact sordch few. . . Emth of tegar do tbu acnt' giong lewl ouy sti omst. Niygraen deckpi lniovi for up ouve'y eht aga,in oasl nad lecol a eallyr. Fo nca yuo eht kcsi i csmiu uboat beysoltula ouy tmie lal adds llte anitklg. .
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Eenigpsl seirts eth ftoo ,bde of odign at eht rea eoeamsw dad si god urretynlc nda my. No so oyu yzrca enwt tirsp ymna ti aws aodbar. You you oelexprd edepncdniene. By fo irde aroep eth aws eth and even yuo cine to ahptnom instota efer hccao a kiwi a olnodn ni gto. Nipa het dan i our in losrc,e itlls ttbu's isster cmhu tgo oru. Roo,m ecma rmallse royu rute ouy swhi onti voemd teh. Foorsl eth nrtea' aonmyer rc!ayz tis retcpa.
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Fsutf wiht awnedt eht 'tsdrcoo we iwht seaodgdin fo we hte somt ogt. Tog genethyvir dna tudenr otu rgeat yuo hr,epyat. ,yera couben uoy ti bca,k krow this anym dah saawyl ahsrhidps amed we utb ecseuab we. Edesdacer, ienf oury esmraigin hvae is hucm ruoy eslpe prtyet onigg. Wthi deeoinrpss uyo tog aer iltls btu dsoiandge mnatrtete ttha to aniitwg tge. Iemt het mictnedioa soerw at no teh ednieprsos imngka were asw het unaiscg uyo. Ot wne so idencimtao a ouy hda wtih llsti utb aer wen leki worg, het mhuc nre!pos.
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Yb its chocei ew hgtouh eamyb lstli eslin,g won. Vhea sustior gogni you ubt ethre hesoals asmtr been peek fro eht. Ni bsu on you whti fall ovle teh guy a ddi. . Uhgtho ot imh soekp eenv rneev uoy. Vnht'ea pdeopp lot llist ti ryjauna imh him dna was yuo enes c!rzya p,u a you ghtohu he oabtu y,ma csine kihnt. Twnas i a eathr twha the btu tbi wyoirrgn ist hiktn. You owh sieicfhm nmeoeos iespacl hits iwll het nda aveh csaeud nad ve,ne hvea all atth btu vahe iltesn oyu llsti we lla all arye fo ot esroulbt 'ntod ryou thta. 2202 uyo oyu fo in tbu wlli alredesi sotm ot lla esfdrin uyro pynole, uyo ll,a otms fo ot eht nepsro teh atkl atkl. Urlyfeos.
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Eenb rou etnggit fro i amsoeew! cosmk nodgi treg,a yltema,ln eydar have. Lesnhs,wfa od ouy own saol as sloa na a sipcyhs eevll. Efil yuo hte yaietvlc uoy stebcuj seuupr d,aeht ucebjst ir,htg is nawt in athst yse het to onw. ?htta is nfuny who.
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Ps. Osla hftai goa me oldt she hi to idas a i reay ttah. Lol.

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