A letter from Dec 20th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, Hopefully I'm 20 when this sends. 2025. Goodness that seems forever but I'm turning 17 so it's only 4 years. Kinda scary. Anyways back to the reason I decided to write this. I want to rant about 2021. The tornado in March was the worst of it all. Mostly because it caused all my problems. I won't write about what I remember that night because just the thought of it makes me want to cry. After the tornado I had to stay in a hotel and because my school was destroyed I had to do online. The issue with that is I had no wifi cause I was stuck in a hotel with bad wifi. plus every room in that hotel was full which meant everyone was on that wifi. So I couldn't finish 9th grade. Not mention I moved to Texas couple weeks after. By the time I got to Texas the school year was over. After summer break I expected to be a sophomore. I was honestly excited. Since I'd work so hard to pass freshmen due to covid. I went from failing grades to passing which took every once of my passion to do. Only to find out I was going to still be a freshman over something I can't control. Though I guess it's not that bad cause I still take some sophomore classes. And next year I'll be a eleven grader if I also do summer school. Sucks,could be worse. I remember crying almost every night either from the thought of losing everything in a tornado or from not being a complete sophomore. It doesn't make it any better that occasionally my friends think it's funny to joke about me being a freshman. All my friends are sophomore or higher. Because again I had some sophomore classes. To them their words are only jokes I should laugh off. But to me it feels like a bullet going through the deepest part of my brain. Reminding me of the tornado,everything I lost,the trauma of that night. The feeling of being a failure because I'm constantly reminded I'm a feshmen. But I laugh it off anyways. Even if I can feel the ache of my heart. I laugh it off like a joke. I even told them how I felt but ig happened again. Can I blame them though? Some of them didn't know because they weren't in the group chat. I'm not strong enough to do it in person. Especially one of my friends who constantly makes jokes about it but again he wasn't in the group chat to understand how hurt I felt. Plus I couldn't bring it up I just couldn't. It hurts so much more considering the fact I have such a huge crush on him. That's about it though. Nothing else has happened since. There some good stuff that happened this year though. I got new friends and I finally got my own room. I also feel like my family more financially stable. I mean we have an actual Christmas tree so we have to be doing okay. I still have Blue,my dog, and I even have a cat now, Lezzel. Though I'll admit idk his gender I believe he's a guy though. He had no ***** but he has balls. Anyways goodnight.