A letter from Nov 8th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, Hey! How's life for you right now? Okay I'm just going to refer to my future self as you since technically, I'm not my future self as of this moment. But I will be. So you you you! I know I usually write these type of letters whenever I go through a not so pleasant experience, but this time it's different. I'm writing cause I'm actually really content with the way life is right now. It almost feels too content, to the point where it can't last. So I just wanted to see if it would still be happy like this when you see this letter. And that'll be when I finish my freshman year. But ideally, life will continue to feel fruitful like this. I am however, also aware that negatives are a big possibility. I really am glad though. I'm finally making friends and sharing so many fun experiences with my peers. I mean yeah, the coursework hasn't gotten easier exactly, but the positivity I get from sharing the experience with my new friends outweigh this con. I feel like I belong. And that's exactly why I'm scared. I'm not used to being surrounded by so many people, let alone classmates, accepting me and appreciating me. It feels strange, foreign. For me to be this happy, I can't help but feel that something bad will happen to pay the price. Perhaps it's just my insecurities and past experiences making me think like this. But still, it's a feeling hard to shake off. I truly love all my friends and am so grateful. I really hope I don't do something stupid to ruin everything. But if I do, you better apologize. I guess the only negative, if I could even call it that, is not having a single love interest or someone to admire from afar. Like, getting a boyfriend is not really a top concern, but still, where's the fun?! When I used to dream about college life, encountering a movie-esque romance was one of the first things that came to mind. But seriously, there's no one here. Like, no one. And I'm not even being picky or anything; there's literally no dudes here. And it's New York City, one of the biggest cities in the world. I'm going to art school so that's definitely a big reason for this lack of romantic potential. But huh????? At this rate, I'm going to stay single for the entirety of my time here. Which isn't the end of the world, but I can't help but feel a bit envious when I see my friends from home having their own romantic affairs or seeing my social media feed flooded with all these lovey-dovey couples. I sound like a bitter fart lol. A part of me is to be fair. I have Hinge but it's pretty hard clicking with someone I only know through a digital space. Only thing I can do for now is cling to the other aspects of my life and hope that romance will somehow land in my path. I wish you the best and hope you are still as happy, or even happier than I am as I write this letter. As you know, my favorite quote, "Time waits for no one.".