A letter from Oct 2nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I am so proud of you at how far you have come in the last 10 years. From where you were at the age of 20. Having a baby, in an unhealthy relationship that was abusive, to unable to finish school because your priorities weren’t straight like you thought. To a lot of partying and living. You made a lot of great memories but hid a lot of pain. Right before turning 30 you wanted a healthier version of you. You took your mental health serious and put in work for yourself. Continuous therapy, dealing with your depression/anxiety, letting go of friendships & relationships that are not serving you. Creating an atmosphere that is healthy for you and your babies. Being more present for your babies. For your 30’s you have set the Intentions of peace, love, and happiness. To be a better version of yourself. You have left a relationship, which has been painful, but to make the Intensions you set for yourself to be true. You have realized life is too short to be Unhappy. & all through your 20’s you were Unhappy. The best version and happiest version of yourself will reflect in your boys. They too will be the best versions of themselves. I hope you have kept your goals in vision and keep knocking each one off of your list. Because you are capable of anything you set your mind too. You are strong, resilient, admirable, a leader, a loving mother, and a wonderful friend. Hold on to the people who fill up your cup when needed and don’t forget to keep filling theirs up as well. 💜 Love always, Me. You have grown so much from 20 until 30. Keep growing & glowing!

Epilogue

over 3 years later

Dear Me,

I need you to pause for a moment and really take in how far you’ve come because I know you don’t give yourself enough credit.

Life didn’t get...

Ygcmailal it eonc hodpe ekil uoy iesrae oduwl. ,swya ni ogt ti ,tacf ymna vhreaei ni. Fo earkbr,ahte alkt odtn’ tath tboua dna fu,cnoniso the tuo lduo wghite dkin raiecdr eoelpp e’uvoy naoomlite tacbke,ss most. Illst ouy yte rehe aer dna. Ilstl ytigrn. Wneh urtsh et,ertb it veen lslti iscgnhoo.
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Nehaort ievf het lfei rhgubto yuo ni saye,r nito abltfiuue lwdor tshi spat. Rea orhmte heret you a fo won. Dna hwo fro etllit sunamh tyesa,f ouy ot duegcani ov,el kloo three. Uoy how idtsepe some uoy iviggn anht aer eomr feel yuo mhet dy,sa eazelri.
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Yuo onegimhst ldnicbriee - ddi daeratdug yuo. 5202, ni ltfe nedishfi hawt omslieisbp nceo uyo. Uwold thta ouy of won adh who reosvni ?oga ot ostp vnerhietyg eb in uoy fo hse erasy wea.
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Lspraiiethno het neve sah a rheta you and ahtt uoy in aelve lyep,ed ceohci fotrh thohgu mead akcb gaina to tdstee nda ahs leupld ruyo nbee. Neaksesw wstn’a ttah a. A gthetsrn saw ttah. Hortwg htat aws. Eenv it cnnriueat atth hinogcos y,leuorsf left uoy hnwe dna was tefyriring.
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Kown lost oyu hrigt i won feel.
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And of btes tno eurlosyf ksdi efle e,vahy up you y’rueo esrivno teh oghswni a,tdsoeil sa rouy nokw ilek i ofr. Lefe oyu i okwn oh,wle codul wsih jsut ,ayhpp up eawk rfee adn lucdo uyo ephnap taht nad ghliane h-tneovrgi.
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Tno sith ahstt’ wsork tbu owh. S’otned adn ifignal taht amne yr’ueo.
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Kbac are eon uyo qsaeru not at.
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Hwo ahs onw rea loots uoy oesnoem. Saearensw. Reipcxeene. Uiboesrdna. Ait,yxen yhte ear by grthi eelf oyur onlloedcrt fi repoe,indss olud ebgin oury eoa,ymrn vene yuo up—yodst c,od tno yblldin ruoy enocrgize onw uyro ngaai htem.
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Ghilaen lein nto a si isahrgtt. ’ist smyse. Ti soolp. Upsaes ti. Rseatstr ti. Eyvu’o uonedn teavn’h and tvhrig,eeny smsmeeoti seefl eikl oyu ti ubt.
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Woter tllis tabou inslreite yuo ttah amwno era ngrto,s uoy ocen.
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Mero taht ’rueoy wno ,uacltyal anth.
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Lalf ahwt efesl onw nowk yuo gngoi ot aaprt ekil itlsl ti ekpe abcseeu dna.
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Uyro fo a asrulviv rae you bliunredgi aeclp mfro hrutt, otn iefl.
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Awlldeo ouy aer to eimt akte yruo.
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Das nda iemt at woaldel uohlepf yuo era eth flee msea to.
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All otn ti uoy era vahe deufrig uot tye eadwlol ot.
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Hawt atrmtes si st:hi.
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Gyntri oyu era.
Are hciongso etrtbe ouy.
Siltl rehe aer you.
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Si ot of dna hgtmenosi ahtt be dopru.
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Uyo of a etfecrp ’todn ksid nriesvo oruy deen.
Aelr eyht eno a need.
Eon lahenig a.
A neo rwniggo.
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Aer si xytlaec oyu dna who taht.
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Ekpe ngigo.
Qitue on dsya hte neev.
Eth vnee dsya hayve on.
Rgsspero ruyoe’ iknmag efle wenh eevn oyu ont like.
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Eaubsce you era.
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Ouy oen oscnoaspim teh llwi fo tsih ,ady nda os ta h-et ierosvn vra—dneo ni look ipdre itsgnti muhc lsuyfero uyo ,nnkwnou akcb eno fele will gitstnra.
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Ltos ton are uyo.
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Edmidl eth of emngiboc uoy in are.
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Wiht ,vole.
💜 em.

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