A letter from Oct 2nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I am so proud of you at how far you have come in the last 10 years. From where you were at the age of 20. Having a baby, in an unhealthy relationship that was abusive, to unable to finish school because your priorities weren’t straight like you thought. To a lot of partying and living. You made a lot of great memories but hid a lot of pain. Right before turning 30 you wanted a healthier version of you. You took your mental health serious and put in work for yourself. Continuous therapy, dealing with your depression/anxiety, letting go of friendships & relationships that are not serving you. Creating an atmosphere that is healthy for you and your babies. Being more present for your babies. For your 30’s you have set the Intentions of peace, love, and happiness. To be a better version of yourself. You have left a relationship, which has been painful, but to make the Intensions you set for yourself to be true. You have realized life is too short to be Unhappy. & all through your 20’s you were Unhappy. The best version and happiest version of yourself will reflect in your boys. They too will be the best versions of themselves. I hope you have kept your goals in vision and keep knocking each one off of your list. Because you are capable of anything you set your mind too. You are strong, resilient, admirable, a leader, a loving mother, and a wonderful friend. Hold on to the people who fill up your cup when needed and don’t forget to keep filling theirs up as well. 💜 Love always, Me. You have grown so much from 20 until 30. Keep growing & glowing!

Epilogue

over 3 years later

Dear Me,

I need you to pause for a moment and really take in how far you’ve come because I know you don’t give yourself enough credit.

Life didn’t get...

Ehdpo ilek wloud it enco searie lylaaimgc yuo. Ni it ieheavr otg w,ays ni t,afc aymn. Thta atlk nda dink dton’ dlou be,haeaktrr otu osmt fo taeloimno icrdear pepoel the tieghw btauo steca,bks c,osnfnuio veou’y. Eerh ear you yte nda lltis. Lslti gtyinr. Gonhsico tills nweh ,rtbete enev ti hsurt.
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Btrohgu ni noit tfelubiau sapt oyu ldorw fiel ihts vfei ysera, het anrtheo. Fo uoy heter eohmrt onw a ear. Ahsunm nda auidgecn o,lev ot you oklo orf ilttle f,yseta theer ohw. Eptedis aer who igignv ,asyd nhta ouy eomr ehmt emso irleeza efel yuo uoy.
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Eguaddrta geimtoshn becniedlri - idd oyu uyo. Infdhies cneo 520,2 ni wtah you iolpmbssie ftle. Hes eb in uoy loudw of yuo opst owh rosveni oag? asrye hatt to aew fo onw adh ghevnteryi.
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Forht uryo puldel ahs evela esetdt oyu oaihetlrnspi a oecchi hsa ot vene nebe dema and iagan het ckba pled,ye adn ohthug rahte htat uoy in. Ssneakwe a hatt nwta’s. A atth aws rgsthtne. Orwght atth asw. Ftle saw ahtt rfirgniyte dan gscohoin luyferos, nhwe neve intecrnua you it.
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Ltos you higtr i onwk elfe now.
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Hte eoyu’r laditose, i nto nowk of owihgsn steb leik yae,vh nad dksi sa rfo osrvien up you ryuo yorufsel eelf. Juts refe phpa,y and thta sihw awek rogethvn-i nad w,lohe ppahne yuo i hleagin udocl ucodl pu yuo elef nwko.
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Hist who otn btu ’tstha okswr. Etsnd’o ahtt nad eamn royu’e lfiigna.
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Cbak ouy at nto noe rae rasueq.
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Who yuo wno hsa ear smneooe toosl. Sawaesenr. Peeenxceir. Irbdsaoeun. Ingaa ont htye ruoy eelf yb neev mhet dnlliyb if odc, duptyo—s yuor m,yoeanr e,xanyti your uyo are odlu bnige eeocignrz gtihr oruy ctnellrdoo iredoes,nsp nwo.
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Ton is a lehgina tgasthri leni. S’it mssey. Olops it. It seausp. Ti essattrr. But you felse vueo’y elik ytgre,heniv eoemtmssi nda it t’evahn nuendo.
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Roewt uoy utbao anomw gts,nor ouy enco ieslrietn aer atth stlil.
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Laayu,lct hatt omer anht now uy’ero.
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And own ti you basecue raapt to flla esfel lstli ggino keep leki htwa onwk.
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A ndibulerig sviavlur ton feli hu,rtt era lpeca from you fo ouyr.
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Ot oldwlae tmie ouy rae ruoy etak.
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Nda flee uoy asd rae sema oeplfhu at teh ot deowlal mite.
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Uyo lla ety hvae uot to nto ti idugfer allwedo are.
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Saettrm :this si twah.
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Are ngityr uyo.
Ouy erettb aer cgihsono.
Are yuo istll reeh.
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Be of orupd gteihnmso to dan is taht.
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Of inrevos ouyr kdsi oyu ’dotn a eedn etrepcf.
A yeht elar eon eden.
Inhgale eon a.
Eno a wirnggo.
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Aer teayclx ttha dan si yuo ohw.
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Kpee ggoni.
Uteqi no aysd the vnee.
Syad eenv teh yaevh on.
Ouy hwne otn veen reouy’ leik fele ikagnm grspsore.
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Ouy era ecaebsu.
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Wnnokun, in at lfuyeosr hcmu you rn—oaedv eon kcab roveisn oklo gittins tringtas liwl uyo elef lilw teh iperd spoaocsinm nda so noe of day, eh-t shit.
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Not rea ouy tsol.
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Fo rae ni lmedid eth ouy cnboeimg.
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Lveo, with.
Em 💜.

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