A letter from Oct 2nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I am so proud of you at how far you have come in the last 10 years. From where you were at the age of 20. Having a baby, in an unhealthy relationship that was abusive, to unable to finish school because your priorities weren’t straight like you thought. To a lot of partying and living. You made a lot of great memories but hid a lot of pain. Right before turning 30 you wanted a healthier version of you. You took your mental health serious and put in work for yourself. Continuous therapy, dealing with your depression/anxiety, letting go of friendships & relationships that are not serving you. Creating an atmosphere that is healthy for you and your babies. Being more present for your babies. For your 30’s you have set the Intentions of peace, love, and happiness. To be a better version of yourself. You have left a relationship, which has been painful, but to make the Intensions you set for yourself to be true. You have realized life is too short to be Unhappy. & all through your 20’s you were Unhappy. The best version and happiest version of yourself will reflect in your boys. They too will be the best versions of themselves. I hope you have kept your goals in vision and keep knocking each one off of your list. Because you are capable of anything you set your mind too. You are strong, resilient, admirable, a leader, a loving mother, and a wonderful friend. Hold on to the people who fill up your cup when needed and don’t forget to keep filling theirs up as well. 💜 Love always, Me. You have grown so much from 20 until 30. Keep growing & glowing!

Epilogue

over 3 years later

Dear Me,

I need you to pause for a moment and really take in how far you’ve come because I know you don’t give yourself enough credit.

Life didn’t get...

Ilek illcymgaa seaeir ti ulowd uyo econ ophde. In naym got ,ctaf ni y,was rhveaei it. Out ttha indk rkhbrea,eta whiteg sufcono,in ntmolaieo auobt kalt tdo’n aekt,bssc ludo eht of nad most drriaec ’oeuyv eeoppl. Eyt dan ouy rehe ear siltl. Tnygir lislt. Btteer, eevn truhs it tlisl wenh oohnscig.
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Ihst fiev eilf ni uoy saery, orbgthu eht sapt otrhean tino feiblauut rolwd. Ouy won are fo mherto reteh a. Loe,v hmanus auncgdei who fat,sey tiltle etehr uoy and to rfo oklo. You era how ouy mteh gvigin eefl psetied oesm sdy,a elerzia meor atnh uoy.
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Rdateguda ebcnlidrie - ouy uoy idd osginthme. Atwh ocen 2,502 nifseihd lfet oyu eoplsbiism in. Ewa ttah eb seh nerhtivyeg tops fo in to ulwod ?oga fo hwo nwo osvenri uyo ouy aryes dha.
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Thfor oisnielahtpr ni aniga oeccih teedst eevn ash ghhuot eenb ertha yuo cabk yuo tath dan to ruoy adn deam depllu het a l,yeped hsa eevla. ’ntsaw a eenwsask htta. A gsnehtrt saw ttha. Saw htat hrwtgo. You hoogincs nuaceirnt evne ahtt nad s,fylouer riertifgyn wehn asw ti eltf.
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I oyu rgiht efel wno konw stlo.
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Hte up dna ,eilsdaot lfee ienvsor ruoey’ nto ofr ruoy disk oknw i ielk uoy hnsiwgo as oelufsry fo bets ,heayv. Swhi apyph, onkw hpnpea ewka oyu pu helo,w tjus fere htta i toihngv-er nelhiag dan flee ulcdo dan cuodl uoy.
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Orksw btu how tno ’sthat ihst. Ods’tne nad ey’uro htta mnae figilna.
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Noe at yuo back qusrea tno rae.
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Tsloo hsa owh onw rea smoeone uyo. Aanssreew. Ciernpexee. Nboesdruia. Era by ruoy myaneor, orgneeicz yrou gthri htem cortneoldl tyeh oryu i,nyexta uyo lfee ods,nisrepe if uold iaagn geibn uyro ocd, dbnylil ysdo—tpu evne wno tno.
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Si enil a lehiang not irthgsta. ’sit ssmey. It psloo. Sepsau ti. Essrtatr ti. Tub mtiemssoe nad dnuoen ouy tan’evh klei i,hyetgenvr eslef ti e’uyov.
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Uoy nteiilser you taht rweot llsti era ngtsr,o womna abtou econ.
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Hatt ca,aytllu yr’oue remo ahnt nwo.
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Nwko ouy nwo peke rpata ot buceeas ti keli isllt wtah lalf ggnio flsee dan.
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Turth, fo ilnduibrge rsavvliu uoy otn a iefl uyor are place rofm.
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Yuro uyo emit ot ktea rea lalodew.
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Dsa hte ta lhoufep lfee elowdal esma rae mtie to adn ouy.
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Elowlda rae to gfeirdu aehv ti oyu all tye out tno.
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Thaw si reamstt :htis.
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You tgiynr rae.
Are yuo cohgions ttbeer.
Ltisl uyo aer hree.
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Ahtt and megtohisn eb is to fo pordu.
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Dski a pcterfe ntod’ ende oyur svierno oyu of.
Nede eral a hety eno.
Oen hlagien a.
Noe a wnirgog.
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Txylcae rae atht ohw si uoy dna.
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Pkee inggo.
Dsya no het ieuqt enev.
Eenv hte sady yvaeh on.
Nto wenh ilke r’oyue neve eopsrsrg uyo gikmna eelf.
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Rae ubeaesc uyo.
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Wlli oolk iwll of dan eh-t het isth anrttsig oen in ackb os ay,d ta eirpd uyo sicnooaspm nnu,knwo ndaev—ro iitgtsn lsruoefy oensrvi leef neo uyo cmuh.
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Oslt rea uoy tno.
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Het ni iebomgnc uyo are lidmed of.
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Ithw el,ov.
💜 me.

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