A letter from Oct 2nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I am so proud of you at how far you have come in the last 10 years. From where you were at the age of 20. Having a baby, in an unhealthy relationship that was abusive, to unable to finish school because your priorities weren’t straight like you thought. To a lot of partying and living. You made a lot of great memories but hid a lot of pain. Right before turning 30 you wanted a healthier version of you. You took your mental health serious and put in work for yourself. Continuous therapy, dealing with your depression/anxiety, letting go of friendships & relationships that are not serving you. Creating an atmosphere that is healthy for you and your babies. Being more present for your babies. For your 30’s you have set the Intentions of peace, love, and happiness. To be a better version of yourself. You have left a relationship, which has been painful, but to make the Intensions you set for yourself to be true. You have realized life is too short to be Unhappy. & all through your 20’s you were Unhappy. The best version and happiest version of yourself will reflect in your boys. They too will be the best versions of themselves. I hope you have kept your goals in vision and keep knocking each one off of your list. Because you are capable of anything you set your mind too. You are strong, resilient, admirable, a leader, a loving mother, and a wonderful friend. Hold on to the people who fill up your cup when needed and don’t forget to keep filling theirs up as well. 💜 Love always, Me. You have grown so much from 20 until 30. Keep growing & glowing!

Epilogue

over 3 years later

Dear Me,

I need you to pause for a moment and really take in how far you’ve come because I know you don’t give yourself enough credit.

Life didn’t get...

Lduwo eophd ylailgmac eikl you coen it aeseir. Ogt a,wys in acft, ni ti amyn iaevehr. Leepop uisof,conn tlak ttha oaemnolit odul a,tkhrereba dn’ot teh otu dan igehwt fo inkd atubo ssetc,bak derrcai tmso vueo’y. Heer dan uoy rae tey istll. Litsl ingtyr. Hstru enhw tber,et tlsil soihcngo it enve.
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Into hte dwrol you rbuthgo evfi ifle ni era,sy this apst harnoet iaefbluut. Oyu of rea rotemh a nwo three. Gdneuica hwo to dan ol,ev ookl nsmuah f,etsya rof eltlit hrtee oyu. Dsa,y ahtn yuo orme efle aer woh tehm givnig ipdstee eailzer soem uoy yuo.
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Dcrebnleii agdaerdtu uoy etinhsmgo - idd oyu. 2,250 miolspesbi ftel cone diesihfn hwta yuo ni. Of to be aog? in eiryegvhnt had of won owh odlwu yuo she oyu nvisroe ayesr wea tsop tath.
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Ahs and in atth sha edlp,ye veen oyu eenb leaev pihsrnotiale hohgtu tareh teh euldlp yuo rouy giana a tedest icheoc amde orhtf back nad to. Ns’wta weksenas a atht. Ngrsetth a wsa tath. Ahtt aws hrtgwo. Fgirtrnyei whne tath was ti and nnctareui tfle sgooncih ,syrfelou oyu vene.
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I you know gthir tlos fele own.
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Oknw sa eikl stbe otn i dksi vnsiroe oyru lo,atdise dna eth flee r’uoey rfo uyo of eva,hy eslrofuy up gnsowhi. Uyo pu pnpaeh taht dna fere shwi you codlu ypahp, wolhe, lieangh oludc iho-rtgven ekwa leef i sujt dna wonk.
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Tbu ont atth’s stih how wskor. Iagfiln enma ’uoyer atht e’snotd dna.
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Noe uyo tno ckab ear at asequr.
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Mosneoe aer tolos oyu ohw sah wno. Aeessrnwa. Einepexcre. Bdiuasenor. Rouy ocd, uyo enve ylldnib heyt uryo p—tuoysd egbin yuor tno oldu orenlodltc ryou izegroecn nwo naiag atyx,ien era de,isneposr igthr if yb ,eonymar hmte eefl.
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Si a enli otn glhiane ttahirsg. Emssy ’tis. Lsoop it. Ti spuase. Ti trsserta. Mtieemsso tbu dnunoe nad evyo’u you ti eefls ’tenahv htgev,nriye ekli.
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Nrieeitsl utoab ouy era ,ostgrn anwom taht ouy ceon lltsi trowe.
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L,auatycl atth nwo eomr r’yuoe nhta.
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Nad to atwh uoy artpa eikl kepe selef going cbeeaus it konw own sltli alfl.
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Fo tno httru, rfom flie nridbeiulg yuo a aluvvsri oyru rea acpel.
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Ledwalo era aket uyo yuor tiem to.
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Nda elef etmi aer ouy laeodlw at to sda folpeuh hte same.
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Ont you ehva out to yet lwoeadl are it defiurg lla.
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Si mtatesr :isht tawh.
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Ouy rea itgynr.
Teetrb era gsoonhic uyo.
Lslit ear ouy erhe.
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Of ttah rupdo is nda be to itohmgsen.
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Oyu ioensvr a ende rtepefc tdno’ your dksi of.
Ndee eon a arel hyet.
Eon a hngeali.
Giwrgon one a.
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Ear oyu ohw etyxcla htta si nad.
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Kpee nogig.
Enve etqiu no hte sday.
No sdya neev vehya hte.
Fele even lkie ressopgr ouy nto ehnw r’uoye aigknm.
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Ouy aer bacseue.
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Fo noe ouy -the fele pdier eht d,ya rvdae—no okol eon isht at tnisitg ,nnouknw kcab stnragit ni soviren liwl and iaospscomn louresfy ilwl you much so.
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Tslo ouy rea nto.
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Yuo of ddemli ni rea bongmeic eht.
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Lv,oe whit.
Em 💜.

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