A letter from Oct 2nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I am so proud of you at how far you have come in the last 10 years. From where you were at the age of 20. Having a baby, in an unhealthy relationship that was abusive, to unable to finish school because your priorities weren’t straight like you thought. To a lot of partying and living. You made a lot of great memories but hid a lot of pain. Right before turning 30 you wanted a healthier version of you. You took your mental health serious and put in work for yourself. Continuous therapy, dealing with your depression/anxiety, letting go of friendships & relationships that are not serving you. Creating an atmosphere that is healthy for you and your babies. Being more present for your babies. For your 30’s you have set the Intentions of peace, love, and happiness. To be a better version of yourself. You have left a relationship, which has been painful, but to make the Intensions you set for yourself to be true. You have realized life is too short to be Unhappy. & all through your 20’s you were Unhappy. The best version and happiest version of yourself will reflect in your boys. They too will be the best versions of themselves. I hope you have kept your goals in vision and keep knocking each one off of your list. Because you are capable of anything you set your mind too. You are strong, resilient, admirable, a leader, a loving mother, and a wonderful friend. Hold on to the people who fill up your cup when needed and don’t forget to keep filling theirs up as well. 💜 Love always, Me. You have grown so much from 20 until 30. Keep growing & glowing!

Epilogue

over 3 years later

Dear Me,

I need you to pause for a moment and really take in how far you’ve come because I know you don’t give yourself enough credit.

Life didn’t get...

Seiaer wluod klie agicyllam it you odhpe econ. In wsay, ti tog ,atfc in raheeiv amny. Eeplop ttah bca,sktes fo dnki stmo un,fsioonc teanmoloi doul hte uv’eyo nda cdarrei od’tn ,atarrekehb wiegth altk atoub uot. Era ereh ltsil nda eyt uyo. Ltisl ingyrt. It csoniohg eett,rb hwne still thsru even.
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File oitn ,yaers eatonhr dlrwo lfebuitua rothbgu hte uyo hsit tpsa eifv in. Fo ouy won a tohmer ehrte rae. Owh afsy,te for you loev, kolo smuanh lettli erhet ot cneduaig dna. Uoy meos mero zrleiea iggniv uoy how htna thme d,ays rae yuo feel despeit.
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Ddi osmtniehg oyu debnirleci yuo aautdderg -. Oibmpslsie ni tawh yuo eonc nifhisde 25,02 telf. Luwdo woh isvrnoe eveigynthr own fo of seh thta eaw tpso og?a ot ni dah ouy asyre eb oyu.
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Nvee adn ash nirtlisaopeh rftho uoy yrou to has htta gnaai ihcoce uthgoh puldle esdtte in uyo aelev nebe adem cbak thrae ,ldeyep the and a. Nat’ws nsaskewe htta a. Htat saw ertngsth a. Htat troghw wsa. Ttha chiogosn it ,seuloyfr nad wnhe even was gireiryftn oyu ftel encrntuai.
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Okwn own i tlos oyu leef irtgh.
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Otn isdk and onwk ldtsei,ao enivsor sa keil tebs eefl oury pu yureo’ urfoesyl nwghosi you fo ofr the yaev,h i. E,lhow htat up sutj ewka hanlegi free uyo apyhp, he-nritvog cdoul dna oudcl hpapen wnko ihws oyu i elef nad.
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Htsi sowkr owh tbu ta’hts nto. Oeruy’ adn eanm ondts’e atht niiflag.
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At qeusar you oen rea tno acbk.
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Sah eeonmso otsol uoy nwo owh era. Saernsaew. Erpeicnexe. Nseuradiob. Egeiocznr yruo udol nto iyblnld uroy ouyr rea omyrn,ae fi cd,o oypdtus— by spoe,rsdnie gaain uryo hemt teyh genbi oldeolrnct fele nvee ihtgr onw oyu ynetxi,a.
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Lnie a is tno ieahnlg taghrtsi. Esysm ’sit. Posol it. Speusa ti. Srrsttea ti. Nda ikel tvhne’a semtiomse fsele dunone geterh,nyvi ti tub ’eovyu you.
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Illts taht noec ouy itsreeinl oyu nwmao otrew on,stgr tuoab era.
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Roe’yu orme lauclyta, onw thta thna.
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Pkee nda ltsli ot ahwt afll nokw niogg rtaap you fsele cbaeesu won ti elki.
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Uroy ton rae caelp a fo ueirbdgiln uyo ilrvvasu romf leif ,thrtu.
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Aer oruy teim uoy teak awleldo ot.
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Wdollea emti het rae at uyo amse lhofpue nda asd to feel.
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Aelwold tye lla ahev fedgiur ti you otn era to uot.
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Tsemrat is thwa h:sit.
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Era uoy ntgryi.
Shooncig uyo bertet era.
Era rehe tsill yuo.
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Gnimehost ot atht eb of nda ouprd si.
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Dnee ruoy kdis soerinv a efretcp fo nt’do ouy.
Rela dene they oen a.
A eno ainlegh.
Oen ngigowr a.
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Is ouy nda owh aer htat alxytec.
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Nggoi epek.
Asyd eevn iuetq on eht.
Even ayevh on teh dyas.
Nehw eevn lfee serorpsg ilek gimkna eour’y ouy ton.
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Busecea aer uoy.
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Nea—vord inttsig ni uoflersy nknuw,no at kacb uyo of adn oen ipdre agnritts lwil os oiacnmposs uoy oesrinv kool t-he one will d,ya teh hsti lefe cmuh.
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Aer otsl uyo ont.
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Are of yuo mibnoecg ldiemd ni eth.
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El,ov wthi.
Em 💜.

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