A letter from Sep 10th, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, It's me, You. But 1 year prior. I'm writing this to see how far we've progressed. You remember the time we became severely depressed. Those 4 months, where we struggled to get up during late afternoons, just waking up after overthinking for countless hours until late. The nights we spent venting, through clouds of vapour at the sound, no, the sounds, so melancholic, it left you numb. We started schema-based therapy in June. We took a step forward to save ourselves because we knew that no one was going to be there to help us. When we were bullied for years. When we failed to meet expectations. When we were mistreated despite being kind. There was never anyone there we could share our feelings with. Times changed though. We became this emotionless block of human flesh, hateful, spiteful, but never vengeful. Hateful of ourselves, our surroundings and every aspect of our lives. We're not doing that anymore. It's time to start loving ourselves. I hope you're doing the same. I'm struggling. I do struggle, I do get demotivated, I do procrastinate, I do develop bad habits, but at the same time, I DO want to get better. So in one year, I hope things have gotten better. I hope I'm driving (finally). I hope we can travel wherever. I hope you went on the night city bike ride. I hope you have more self-discipline. I hope you're more fit. I hope you look hella drippy. I hope you have a better fashion sense. I hope you helped your youngest brother's transition into high school. I hope you've started to love yourself. I hope you've developed a bit of a passive income. I hope you've become more emotional. I hope you've developed more social skills, I hope you've got some control over your social anxiety. I hope you'e able to focus again. And I hope for soooooo much more. But baby steps. You've got this lad. If anyone does, it's you. Cause y'know, Ethan hates being complacent. But what do I hate? Well... "I hate wasted potential, It crushes your spirit." Make sure you keep reading them self-improvement books, meditate, work out, watch Motivational videos, inform yourself about mental health, watch Jordan Peterson, Dr. K, Psych2Go and Sisyphus 55. Stay happy! But above, don't be someone you're not. Because that's who I am. And that's not what I want. Please, Take Care! M. P.S. Have I cried anytime during this next year? You know we haven't cried in 3 years. Maybe If I cried I could let loose a bit. Lmaooo

Epilogue

about 10 hours later

To the "me", who had lived in the year, one previous.

We've come far.

I'm thankful, for the fact that you wrote this letter.

Truly, I'm grateful.

Over the last...

Ew ta ar,ey nda tefl a ridec stiem anym geltgsu,rd stol.
Eseepdrrve ew but.
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Dgirniv tisme aifylnl beaitl nd,iirvg i het niiaflg rfeat estt 4 etdtsra. N(sasrmgibea,r mi' aarew).
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Moetsimse eisiu,vtynr isltl in hadr is't i tgrulges. Lfmlaiai only rou osla tsih tcifgafen jtsuecb noe casuebe ot met,rsees i'm i btu netpers euisss ucesabe of ,orme omhe eht twna dogin tlaryp work.
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I a tdaerst of spneaigk rwo!k boj!.
Cumh ni amyfil ofr as the srtiopniteuop on korwngi dan ncei 'im s,essbnui is rkow we to dnegai, ofr sa enxireepec ,tllhyunafk nlroge rlguteaf it the vosleseru w'ree.
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'ist leo,r wef at a srnss,gite fo erermbme ryase but to ttah tlo get 'htast ym npst,iiobirsley a cotjpre cunretr ti adn ni ewadnt ietms lndeivov otrhw ruo soupr?vie aalwiyr tfeno dda. Tsha't adn en,ngrali ttimrpoan whats' ewr'e.
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Yihdaol a 'ewre rrtwmooo no nyiflnu genou,h onggi. Rfsti ript tuhiwto uor artenlap vrnosiepsiu. I tgixic,en owkn. Dadhee nda oreak fro sdya 21 ot siaroepgn we'er. Gourp dan dhamoo, of be tiwh til'l mthi ,5 ms,za a av.
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Irrespu,s srruspie.
Cg errobsd uh?h so e'bt namte oyu hte tdcepeex wlle najap, tlyliniai reew njaaps' eevrn htat otg hlweo aws go to kcyi, apercdsp atht igebn tbu to. Eplepo is twha to,u dpdproe osem wko'ny, as ti els,tru ti si utb a.
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Sa as esclo hitw rvee lltsi eanht ewer'. Ntikh etim 1, rou ttah cagehn i onso dna otnd' yda ayn lwil. (nor wnat i ot do ti. ).
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Laelry a e'vew engo y,cvik ndyiet nad wthi loas fwe nad thme temsi htiw we to nx,ucltpeeedy craba coles tog. .
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Dha ,wtih nda ylno a sa ehtna i htat tuthohg fwe oulcd utb elhl hvea ysawal ahve dtyine pdee nebe skatl osnpre iteuq i eht aevh gulnishitf dulwo i be. .
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Uesb,r yuo dan mead inu kimscnane we n,ad nkwo ums,re ,jv us,tdamr maest, iywsp omes eht. Uto dogo fniglal wsa ltroeuutny,naf no utb ruyo eerth wiht oenveery rtsem lilts eetwnbe a yr,oeenev. Ouy who nwok ew rllo.
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La,oervl.
Oetntg 'ielsf bettre.
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Ew and ufn akignm can ,onyem fnresid er'we ervhrwee aveh ew evah ew.
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File ubt elfi tsssrulef kwno'?y tgse mioeste,ms lsilt thta's.
I reh iarpeph ae,ry oucn'dlt we noncetc qtui csahme efinelg 'ntasw and lats pyehrat thiw alet.
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Ays rtebet ubt tn'wo syehv'gernit ti's trp,efce i.
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Gkiornw( desse,edpr 'erwe no it litls. ).
Tseb adn nrytgi uro.
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Ot sowlyl ornvimpig dna yerv ovsllef-e od, rew'e ,slwyol its' si goishtemn tnrgiy.
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Lalsm seeincr,tnm sptse. .
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Athw as'htt taret!sm.
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Oadpted we we li,yfanl shrape adn b!y viel a.
To !nwo ceah tierh.
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Ekma ruse ot mrmeeebr ti.
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Uhmc ev,ol.
Ni ueuftr neo ryea ouy,sflre hte.

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