A letter from Sep 10th, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, It's me, You. But 1 year prior. I'm writing this to see how far we've progressed. You remember the time we became severely depressed. Those 4 months, where we struggled to get up during late afternoons, just waking up after overthinking for countless hours until late. The nights we spent venting, through clouds of vapour at the sound, no, the sounds, so melancholic, it left you numb. We started schema-based therapy in June. We took a step forward to save ourselves because we knew that no one was going to be there to help us. When we were bullied for years. When we failed to meet expectations. When we were mistreated despite being kind. There was never anyone there we could share our feelings with. Times changed though. We became this emotionless block of human flesh, hateful, spiteful, but never vengeful. Hateful of ourselves, our surroundings and every aspect of our lives. We're not doing that anymore. It's time to start loving ourselves. I hope you're doing the same. I'm struggling. I do struggle, I do get demotivated, I do procrastinate, I do develop bad habits, but at the same time, I DO want to get better. So in one year, I hope things have gotten better. I hope I'm driving (finally). I hope we can travel wherever. I hope you went on the night city bike ride. I hope you have more self-discipline. I hope you're more fit. I hope you look hella drippy. I hope you have a better fashion sense. I hope you helped your youngest brother's transition into high school. I hope you've started to love yourself. I hope you've developed a bit of a passive income. I hope you've become more emotional. I hope you've developed more social skills, I hope you've got some control over your social anxiety. I hope you'e able to focus again. And I hope for soooooo much more. But baby steps. You've got this lad. If anyone does, it's you. Cause y'know, Ethan hates being complacent. But what do I hate? Well... "I hate wasted potential, It crushes your spirit." Make sure you keep reading them self-improvement books, meditate, work out, watch Motivational videos, inform yourself about mental health, watch Jordan Peterson, Dr. K, Psych2Go and Sisyphus 55. Stay happy! But above, don't be someone you're not. Because that's who I am. And that's not what I want. Please, Take Care! M. P.S. Have I cried anytime during this next year? You know we haven't cried in 3 years. Maybe If I cried I could let loose a bit. Lmaooo

Epilogue

about 10 hours later

To the "me", who had lived in the year, one previous.

We've come far.

I'm thankful, for the fact that you wrote this letter.

Truly, I'm grateful.

Over the last...

Yer,a lfet we ietms solt rdiec nyma dna segutlr,gd ta a.
Sdereveerp tub ew.
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Tiems rdsetta etrfa linfiag gdirvni, the teibla i 4 ridivgn finllay etts. I'm n(bm,aessigrar rw)aae.
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Rdha teiesmosm in ist' esrglgut erniit,yusv llits i. Idong loyn wtan ,emor ihts cbaeuse amifllia cuesbtj of krow ueabsce lsao uor agfecntfi to i ssseui ers,meets teh repnste 'mi eno mohe lptrya but.
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Snpgkeai of i wok!r jbo! rtseadt a.
Okrgwni fro nda we ti nepxereeci ienc fgeratlu het imlfya si 'weer umch to mi' teroinpotipsu on sa ie,angd lroeng sa rof eisnbsu,s teh loueesrvs in korw ytfunkha,ll.
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Ti in mesti re,ol oyiltisinpb,esr si't a ta'sht sngie,srst meebmrer urternc rou erpuov?is my otl sarye tge efw of to ocejrtp taht nad ubt at tnfoe wyaarli ohrtw ivvdelno a add tnaedw. Tt'hsa nda weer' tas'wh ,ngilnaer imtpraont.
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Oaldhiy a on nilyunf hgnoe,u erwe' rmworoto oiggn. Vsiironespu uor aprlenat irsft uoiwtht tpir. I nkow itgxeni,c. Oreka to and r'ewe dhedea 12 for dsya rpneiasog. 'iltl a mhti orugp tihw 5, be nda fo va ,masz ,ohomad.
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Persui,sr iusrserp.
Og uyo ,kyic llwe ogt to lhweo rppcesda pxeeedtc but ltiiyainl eht rsebdro os htta uhh? b'te nemat jnpa,a enrev ttha asw inebg to ewer cg j'naspa. Epeplo resut,l sa is a ti tou, tub is esom y,ko'nw tahw rddoppe ti.
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Sa eolsc iwth enhat as veer re'we itsll. Dna 1, td'no tmie any agehnc ktnih ayd snoo ruo illw htat i. To awtn i ro(n do ti. ).
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Times thiw ietndy solce adn a laso cvky,i ehmt xydcepetln,ue ew hitw v'wee egno dna got erlaly efw abrac ot. .
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Ahtt ubt be i thgothu a dan bnee uiqet ahd ntaeh ehva srnpeo ylon i atslk ehav i sa louwd udcol wh,ti gnutsihlfi dtyeni lwyaas pdee lehl het ewf veah. .
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Trsdu,ma inu osem v,j estma, onkw eth dna, ouy rm,eus enimsckan pyisw dan emad we ebrs,u. Etebnew smrte a out asw eveeynro fillnag utna,erotflnyu oodg etehr no ihwt tub y,nrveeeo llsit yoru. Ohw oyu lrol kwno we.
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Rol,avel.
Ettong retebt slif'e.
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Heav wr'ee dan cna ahve gmikna difrens we rerwehve ,oeymn ew nfu we.
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Tlsli w'okyn? setg lusstfser ,ssiometem life hts'at utb flei.
Atel iuqt nfilgee ceamsh etphary e,ary hwti erh dna cnlo'dtu we eiarphp ntocnec alts i twn'as.
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Ttbeer ,cfepetr say 'sit tub wnot' i inseheytgrv'.
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It on dseed,reps ignrw(ok eew'r ltsli. ).
Nyitrg uro bets nad.
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Onripvgmi dan eryv eofesll-v shoingtem yoslw,l oslwly e'wre ygintr its' is o,d ot.
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Lamsl ns,tcrminee tessp. .
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Ahtw tth'sa a!rmttes.
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Ew we by! asephr ilve iy,llnaf dan dadetop a.
Hrite aech won! ot.
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Ti remembre urse ekma to.
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Mchu v,oel.
Erfuut one eyra ersou,lyf eht ni.

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