A letter from Sep 10th, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, It's me, You. But 1 year prior. I'm writing this to see how far we've progressed. You remember the time we became severely depressed. Those 4 months, where we struggled to get up during late afternoons, just waking up after overthinking for countless hours until late. The nights we spent venting, through clouds of vapour at the sound, no, the sounds, so melancholic, it left you numb. We started schema-based therapy in June. We took a step forward to save ourselves because we knew that no one was going to be there to help us. When we were bullied for years. When we failed to meet expectations. When we were mistreated despite being kind. There was never anyone there we could share our feelings with. Times changed though. We became this emotionless block of human flesh, hateful, spiteful, but never vengeful. Hateful of ourselves, our surroundings and every aspect of our lives. We're not doing that anymore. It's time to start loving ourselves. I hope you're doing the same. I'm struggling. I do struggle, I do get demotivated, I do procrastinate, I do develop bad habits, but at the same time, I DO want to get better. So in one year, I hope things have gotten better. I hope I'm driving (finally). I hope we can travel wherever. I hope you went on the night city bike ride. I hope you have more self-discipline. I hope you're more fit. I hope you look hella drippy. I hope you have a better fashion sense. I hope you helped your youngest brother's transition into high school. I hope you've started to love yourself. I hope you've developed a bit of a passive income. I hope you've become more emotional. I hope you've developed more social skills, I hope you've got some control over your social anxiety. I hope you'e able to focus again. And I hope for soooooo much more. But baby steps. You've got this lad. If anyone does, it's you. Cause y'know, Ethan hates being complacent. But what do I hate? Well... "I hate wasted potential, It crushes your spirit." Make sure you keep reading them self-improvement books, meditate, work out, watch Motivational videos, inform yourself about mental health, watch Jordan Peterson, Dr. K, Psych2Go and Sisyphus 55. Stay happy! But above, don't be someone you're not. Because that's who I am. And that's not what I want. Please, Take Care! M. P.S. Have I cried anytime during this next year? You know we haven't cried in 3 years. Maybe If I cried I could let loose a bit. Lmaooo

Epilogue

about 10 hours later

To the "me", who had lived in the year, one previous.

We've come far.

I'm thankful, for the fact that you wrote this letter.

Truly, I'm grateful.

Over the last...

Elft ltos we nyam and eirdc slurdggte, ta ayre, mtsei a.
Prrevseede we ubt.
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Rvidgin nv,dgrii eartf estt i eatstdr afligni tiable 4 teh timse lyaifnl. Aigbnes(rm,sra ae)war i'm.
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Ltrsuegg lsilt esiteomms ni i si't radh eiti,rnysvu. Goind rou esusis mi' lyon i of asueceb fmalaili to saucbee want one hte rspnete e,ssreetm yrlpta this owkr jcuestb also heom but r,eom gcienftaf.
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I a !obj kr!wo of ensaigpk tdseart.
Usvlosere owkr we si as nda orf daig,en nsisus,be ienc no etupstoipoinr the mhcu 'im pnxreeeeci erew' sa lfyima lngoer in gwiorkn ofr alutgefr it f,lyhtkluan hte to.
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Si't sayre ndtaew dad ?ureipvso get ath'st ot tbu nruretc eiioplri,sbnyst wrhto vvilndeo dna lot ta meits ym ahtt rcetojp eerrmebm etnfo ewf l,ero ni ti of yiwrala retssg,ins a ruo a. E'rwe nda sahtw' s'atht tropanmti ilrngn,ea.
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Ahydilo ynfnuli on ew'er henguo, a niogg owormrto. Ssoipuvnrei naeraptl fstri uro iptr ttuhwoi. Cxini,get i kwon. Koera rfo ehdade dasy e'rwe iresagopn 12 to adn. Iwht 5, urogp mthi oodhm,a a nda l'ilt ma,zs eb av fo.
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Ep,usrrsi ersurips.
Ot aj,nap thta atnem cg ubt ewer b'et og whelo c,iky dpceaprs well eht os pceteedx tog iitlyalni yuo reenv ngibe to saw uhh? j'npsaa dsbrore taht. Hawt ot,u si is o,nwyk' tbu eoms it lre,tus rdpdeop loeppe ti as a.
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Eerv nehat esocl ltils sa sa hwit rwe'e. Lwil t'dno imet nay yda ghcena tnhki i uro soon hatt nad ,1. (ron ti i od ot awtn. ).
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Hiwt them wv'ee efw dan raacb nieydt to a wtih yralel ew dna itmes ldey,pnecuxet v,ikcy gto olas elcos geon. .
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Btu i wih,t been adh dluoc htena utnsgihilf pede ewf i ldouw hvea i tqeui onyl nespor sa taslk the hgtuhto llhe nad lwayas eb ahve tdiney htat a hvae. .
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Inu esom nda uoy eamst, wnko j,v iswpy enscakmni b,sreu nda, eth edam sem,ur tsarm,du we. Yne,oreev nereoyev lfiagln otu odog hrtee msret oruy a no with saw otfeaur,unynlt lilts eeewtnb tub. Llor nkwo ohw uoy ew.
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Le,volar.
Ngtoet rbtete ef'sil.
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Ew rehveerw kgaimn dna nca reew' avhe nuf we snrefid vhae we eyo,mn.
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Ubt lfei noy'kw? etgs still flei rltsesfsu ahtst' ms,mseteio.
Her dncutol' tsal quti hasmce e,ayr nad tyeahrp alet gefinle naswt' thiw ephrpia tneconc i ew.
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Eerbtt 'tsi i e,epctfr yas btu teineghs'yvr nowt'.
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Dsrseepe,d reew' on irwo(gnk llsti it. ).
Etsb gyrnit our nad.
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To yerv ietnoghms olslyw adn is lseoev-lf ,lywlos riytng d,o e'wer tis' iigmrnopv.
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Pesst samll csrnitmeen,. .
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Thwa 'shtta smt!arte.
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Ew oaeddpt spaher a nda !by ew ,alniylf vile.
Ot tehir aech ow!n.
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Reeemrmb srue ti kmae ot.
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Humc ol,ve.
Futrue oen raye hte ni esuyorlf,.

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