A letter from Sep 9th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, It is 11:44 AM and I am about to officially send in my withdrawal from university. I'm heartbroken. I didn't even get to start. You probably remember, but we couldn't get the funds to attend. Couldn't even qualify for a loan. I'm trying to see the bright side, and I've been writing a lot of letters to different periods in the future (I like imagining reading them in a better future), but I don't know what to do. I like to think things happen for a reason but I'm beginning to think the reason is stupid. I feel like everything I've ever worked for is being thrown away, even though the people saying that taking a gap year(s) was the best thing they ever did. I know it'll get better and I hope that by the time this reaches you you've made something of this experience. Because right now, I haven't even told my friends that I won't be going. I know it's going to break my heart seeing them on Instagram living the life I feel like I deserved to have. I worked so hard for this. Just for it to end up adding up to nothing. School isn't our entire worth but it is our dream. I hope I can move on and I hope you have. I hope you reply to this with good news. I'm kind of betting my entire sanity on you having good news actually lol. I know we'll make it through, You, 18 and hopeless