A letter from Jun 29th, 2021

Peaceful right?

Hello! Today is 29th june, 2 a.m. You are now 22 years old, but your birthday is coming soon - whole **** 23 years old. Can’t even remember exact age right away. Hah, in 2023 you will be 25. Yesterday you finally came back home, Moscow, from 5-days trip, that emotionally seemed to last for several months. No joke - for 24 hours to be in five cities, three airpots, couple busses and jeep in mountains. You were at the end of earth, the Arctic region. Teriberka. And that is where you were terrified for the first time in your life - that he was going to hit you. He screamed and threatened you. It was hard to leave and you ran as fast as you can. And so you lost a friend. This spring you lost another friend, because you were not in the resource to support her problems. You were scared, how bad her situation was - since childhood. You found a therapist for her and chose yourself. And before all this, in the fall and winter, you were on antidepressants. It was also hard - so much hopeless loneliness, where you were for everyone free psychologist and bank-loan. Except yourself. In January you met a guy, in twitter and you accidentally met for real in June. It was good, but also there was a feeling like it was too early and your roads have not supposed to cross yet. But there was also a feeling, like everything is ahead. Maybe it is. Maybe it is not. Oh girl, few weeks ago you finished university and got scared, what will be now? You have been waiting for this freedom for so long and suddenly here it is. Dear sunshine, I hope by this time you will love yourself more. You will find a job and a city of your dreams. You will have healthy environment. And after two years of work experience you will find out, what life you want to lead. And what kind of master’s degree to choose. And everything will be okay.

Epilogue

2 days later

Hello! Today is 30th June, 8.52 p.m. You are now 24 and very very soon will be 25 years old. And it's been two very fucked up years. Congratulations, you...

Mhet uidvvsre. Uto me, how rdnuet of aelrly rorys hte m osem atuob i rueftu tpsa prta.
.
Neamldho / an(d eesqucscneon, nbewete otn tac'n oryu ciotx ivle an iusebva oogd antmuo hrewe uyo a of pnanis-orointeh,l knunwno a hwit orf rntuoyc og nad oyu teh b,jo bit iovdc rvey wra emti). Nad traser iiavmentrtsiad an case na on oerdcr tnirwaa-. Edid mslato rrtbheso uoyr. Uyo a kstcu `etmsars etats, adn drgeee no ni aner ni ettrrsroi plans. Ednfri ymflia het ddngara a ouyr of dan nlyo eon nda dteha cselo. Had nad oyu srgryeu ,oh syatdreye. A joek hwta. .
.
Ihgsnt fscou ouy svtheeeserln yhe, good ddi sel't but eth on colpiascmh. Nderale lrayle elvo it ahev you was wtahevre nad edned eht uorflyes ot cukf siht. You rinahge yrou tespopd oautb igben easabmdsrer orpo. Dnniraailkg kkraloa ni alia,t the dna eth in adn hvea lskea idhke ouy irnaeam eebn. Of oyu met lto a eplpoe odog. Oyu uyo enev efsle htwi ncrgie dna ,ermo wohm yrou it nda you ianzm)ag ogterthe olisac rlfeowudn etm xpdndeae a ccrile aleftubiu ooos adn her(ew yfoiderbn. Llyare 'rdrsvei oyu dan elenisc otg a odnuf ince your job. You oyu ilanylf a you tettniaon wtah aer tish atht ypa dna - emsah ndtdi’ ywa tetsrda ot febero raankiuni htat syaign. Alenr uglneaag rfo netvai yuor tatrgsni to we(ll nad eodn )gkere also.
.
Ruagusceoo nkid iswh adn enmrai adn ot i snaeertvdu ouy. Kehi ilwl wiht nealp go upjm ro yameb raehpctua ni hatt on you. Aiintsmblioo nret freeob rca ,isuzebtkan dan matunu a aemby treval you satl llwi aurdon ekli wadent uoy nad yrgzankyst. Ni yuo adn now mrnaiae eavh denrisf oiegarg. A oyu in to yaser teh ot be beal evreeci eht wfe noviatinits sau uk ilwl yilamf adn. Dan the poyl,hleuf ua. Piztsnhecii otisbylispi if heav nuond eht ot illw ouy ioabtn. Tmso ,ehy ighnt vdeol teh ieesgn be btu sneo rouy ilwl iopcresu. Uyo mtos nidf nad ot mees dreomef veah nneri ,nomrplttyia rouy. Idfn on mndead on and on fo maertt yslofeur ouy htwa indk in ramtte olianstoi atswh’ thsi wdrlo ognig.
.
Lliw ytereghvin be and koya.
.
P. S. Msiemetos wthi espak tllsi yug ttah uyo. 'wnto tngetig ogt erdmria ,it a stla redalay si he yuo erya and elebvie voirced.

This user has written an update to this letter.To see what they wrote, please

Press ← and → on your keyboard to move between letters

Write new comment

Load more comments