A letter from Jun 16th, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, what did the doctor tell you, was it bad news, or good news,=if you are able to have kids in the future omg thats so great, youve come so far in life, finally graduated out of high school, going to college, for summer classes, but you make it a big deal because i get to expiriment at least 3 months of college, I am proud of you for graduating last few years have been hell. they have, finally you wont be able to see rudy thank god we are passed it. so what happend? was it bad news? good news? tell me everything, are you able to have kids, did the doctor come up with a plan, during that process? if you are able to, YAY! if you arent then. well at least you can adopt a child who needs a family, or you could get a ton of dogs, and those could be your children lmao, as im writing this I am scared as ****, wanting for the 24th of june to come quick so i know if i could have kids, ive been praying day and night crying to give me the blessing to become a mother, perhaps not now, me and pranav are very busy, and right now its a difficult time for me to become a mother because of my depression. I know I shouldnt be depressed, but here I am. You have alot of things ahead of you, you have a lot to accomplish. hopefully you'll have the blessing to be a mother, your sezuires may not be curable, but dios will have his ways.- june 15, 2021 Maria Alvarez Chavez

Epilogue

almost 3 years later

Hey 18 year old self, If you would have seen your 20 year old self now you would be in pieces, the doctor told me that I just have to...

You veha iksd 2 lilts pus ralf,ecu utb the raye i dna 2204 a e,erdeg a ’im cna efil eicne i veha atth ont has os geatr ’sit dhngeac bit podmtelec eben i nwo oramj eb bdhnei my ,odnws htiw aveh dna old. Dar,aoelb tbu hess’ disk nnongiya. We nntgioh tslil cprgenyna ruo nolg era i eantcisd me dan rykoc no ysa threoget ahtt i’st acn regesfe tquei t,llsi ofr bnee nuyitgds are vapnra hedn,acg. I oteynaslpri ahve ilrbderoen own. Uoy teqiu undtdsaenr uowdnlt’. ’im ldasaseut exyllaus aybnar sryro by i tgo. Vahe tohguhr uoy ggnoi htis hwat bnee ton is. I nwo its’ llsit ilke htgohu ythe ttah yas ym nto even t’si lftau eelf. Oyu neg“aete os ot deno what eenb srryo ngtcuit i i’ve ’vhneat lf”se im’ orf. So up uoy nda 10 ni a be aveh ewde ryou yma kcefud ereh ’lli a afdrai aptry iekl yhdtbria am 12 lilw own 2024 i ton omsek oogren uoy nad adh ryae tlsa da’sd oogd i. A i lol dikn yeph mrof hte fo vener big erdsdtonou avs,ep atrst. Boerk llsit ugfncki esoht gniukcf boj erezsius a do heeintr ekpe igavnh i ntac’ eacthr ouy oyu eon tcihb kepe. ’mi tetaavdsde. Ncgufki reeh ti etha i. Ewv’e nwo dda thghuo i so ostp neev try my tderi kmea so add radh ot thae ot notdwul’ lhhcloao ym cumh tops nda eh. Hatt m’i 21 now uinlt ugtinnr. Reoynma ym kgdnniir to been he dnto’ dnif lfei all i i uto sha spent ginryt lal hsi ywh ntwa leif ihm. Nntcoa but i inatnygh nkird ehwn i fndi. At’cn sdoe i eefl hatw eh. Fnuny iurgnlsr fro xtceep klnwagi nda dosrw. Aobut nebgi reahnto twire to or onhmt a oiemlotan! l’li lerpy htsi abck. Lbiaerm wstee etiltl. Eb fra edservse ot deovl hwo yuor sllit lhedrncini okol uyo ahev or🥹,evomec. Ot ’ctan you og rweeh to dfni esme. I’ll eb oryu ltso ni own cbka rdwol. Os💖no.

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