A letter from May 23rd, 2021

Dear FutureMe, (I sent this letter on 23rd May 2021 but let's talk as if it's 22nd) YOU WENT ON A DATE WITH HER TODAY! Of course I won't say her name, just in case lol But still, IT WENT GOOD! Good job, I know it wasn't easy . Huh? You totally forgot what you did? Okay, but this will be very long. Well, alright, first, you two went to AEON mall, the one in BSD, a bit far but I believe it was worth it, very! And second, YOUR WERE LATE! Your appointment was on 11 but you arrived at around 11:30. What the frick were you thinking letting a girl wait for you?! Okay, I've calmed down a little bit now... Well, then you entered the mall normally from the 1st floor food court lobby, then you messaged her upon your arrival inside. You two then met in front of the Nike store. Ahh, so sweet. Anyway, you guys then talked a little bit, I believe it was about "Tepung Sania"? Probably, yeah. Then you guys kinda unsure what to eat, she proposed Sushi but you proposed Ramen, thankfully she agreed. You guys went to the top floor to a ramen restaurant called Ichiro, she's the one who chose it because they let you refill the noodle unlimitedly lol. She refilled her noodle twice. And then you guys go to buy McD ice-creams, you paid for it by the way. Don't ever mention it to her. Then you sat down in the food court and talk for a little bit. I must say you looked like you really connected to her. Her smile, her laugh, the way she speaks and crack jokes. It made you happy, the happiest person in the whole world at that moment. After you two finished eating ice cream, you headed straight to Starbucks at the 1st floor. When you walk together, there's a sudden impulse coming from your heart telling you to hold her hand, but your brain is telling you that it's not time yet. In the end, you didn't. You regretted it a bit. Arrived at Starbucks, unfortunately, you forgot to add their Official LINE ID. They you found an open seat close a wall. You two talked so much, time feels stopped, feels like the world is only revolves around her at that moment. She showed you her other Instagram accounts, she had A LOT. Though you seem unsure whether to ask her permission to follow her accounts or not, you decided not to. You also thought about following her twitter account, you also did not. At this point, you also want to ask her to take a photo together. Yet you were unable to collect your strength and courage to ask her that. She's so cute, playing with the empty coffee cup, cutting it to small pieces. To others, it might look childing, to you it's fun little thing to do. Time flies fast when you're enjoying it. And then it's time for her to go home. It was around 3 or 4pm I believe. You took her to an exit. And after that, she went home. Didn't even look back. You tried to think positively. Maybe she just thought that you've already left the point she crossed the exit gate. It was a bittersweet moment I believe. Sweet, because you finally had a chance to meet her. Bitter, because there are so much thing you hadn't said to her, too many things left unsaid. Being with her brings your best self. The calm part of you, the brave one, the caring and loving one. Yet when she left, it feels like the world resets, you reset to your old useless, jobless, piece of garbage self. But a happier one.... After a while, you decided to go home too. It was raining. Your ride arrived. Inside the car, you decided to chat her on IG. A simple thanks and some sweet words you thought at the time. Then you remembered something: take a photo together. She told you to just do it next time since she had a little pimple on her chin at that time. Huh, cute. "Do it next time". Which implies there will be next meetings, you assumed by yourself. Your heart flutters, those reassuring words really made you happy. And then you went home normally. Remember this, me. This is who you are, a brave and charming one. Even if you can't love yourself, there are people who love you. Well, I don't know if she loves you or not, but at least, she appreciates you. You, who has been unkind to yourself, having someone so kind that she spared her time just to meet you. That's rare, man That's real, pure kindness right there. Don't let the world bring you down. Right now, you're might feel like you're a good-for-nothing. But I assure you, things will get better. If you're still close with this girl, keep her safe close to you, okay? She's precious. But if you're not anymore, or maybe you got friendzoned... Well, don't hate or even blame her. Everything bad that happen, is your own fault, and it is okay. That's all for now, good luck, me. May the universe helps you. Sincerely, you.