A letter from May 11th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, I gave up. In school. It's the last grading period of the year one which should be the easiest honestly but I'm having a hard time catching up. My grades in the previous semesters were pretty decent I guess A,B,C and D unfortunately. But this semester is just worse. Right now I have an F in almost all my classes. I barely get sleep, not because I can't but because I don't want to. At night I get a sense of freedom once everyone's alseep. It's just precious time I want to hold on to. It's getting pretty addictive. It's affecting my day to day life. I can't focus or concentrate at all probably from lack of sleep, plus my possible undiagnosed adhd. I should really get checked up. Right now I'm supposed to be doing the 20 missing assignments I have but instead im writing cause I don't want to bottle things up anymore. I want to heal before being in this state starts being my comfort. Im not lazy, I'm just not motivated anymore. I already passed my classes. I have tests to study for so I can't complete assignments. And school's fucking over in 4 weeks. So some of this is pointless. The only bad thing that can come from this is possibly getting yelled at by my mother. I just want to sleep right now but I have to at least try and work. So far I've been sitting at my desk for at least 3 hours and only finished 1 thing. Well at least it's some type of progress. Anyway I should probably head to bed soon. I'll probably be writing more letters soon to you so check your mail. Have a good day! 11:17 PM 5/11/21 -14 year old self