A letter from Apr 22nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I really hope you feel better. Things aren't really good now. I hope you reached your goals. Did you lose weight? Did you choose a good high school? Did you get better at dancing? Can you play the guitar? How is it going in school? Do you have a roommate? Did you get some new friends? What's their names? What high school did you take? How did you decorate your room? I really hope it's green. What kept you going? Is mom calling all the time? How is it going for Andjela? How is Jovana doing in 8th grade? Is Andjela in England? Is it hard, you know, with life? Do you know what you wanna be when you grow up? Do you have your hair short now? Is it a shaggy wolf cut? Do you finnaly wear makeup? Did you get taller? Do you visit Jennifer sometimes? Did your clothes style change? Did you get a boyfriend? Do you miss Filipstad? Is it fun there you are now? Do you have a dance youtube channel? Is your fear of water better? Is Coronavirus over? I really hope it is. It's hard now. Did you forget any good stuff that happened? Do you still have contact with any of your middle school classmates? I hope you're not that lazy anymore! Get yourself together! You can do it! Make mom proud now, please... Study really hard and don't forget to rest... Are you eating normaly? Please do. There are so many things I want you to think about: Don't get too stressed. Work hard and prove mom that you can get a job. Make her the proudest mom. Let her see what amazing daughter she have. Call Jovana and help her with her studies. I know it's hard, but you can do it. Think about what you want to and will become. Write again here and send it to us when we are 19. I love you, please take care of yourself and others. Don't let me down. And, Happy Birthday. From 14 years old Kiki to 16 years old Kiki.

Epilogue

6 months later

Nothing freaking changed Kiki.
You are Sucidal!
You're still fat and ugly.
No you did not cut your hair.
Friends? You actually stopped being friends with Jennifer, but she's asking...

Katl tmwroroo niaag her ot ouy ot.
Hwit ?nfesrdi uot pelpeo yreptt toka olhcso are roeth omes ngha yuo ni etreh. Gmeindai not ouy how yhte aer. D,larlaey eon uoy of wnok mhet eenll luctlaya. Sleoc hmet tihw tub tno of any yro'ue.
Veil mlyifa ormo ithw cslhoo, si uoyr ot oemsc dna tisll hwne yuro ouy lurepp it.
Aldssämanlskhupk o'lylu asscl not arpbobyl y'uero and gunsydti gym liaf nda.
Nfu loochs in s'athw uoy a ybo elki. Sih ery'ou agonn hiygnnat tub tyr oknw bouat adn yuo kas dn'to aspn mhi, ofr.
Laos. . . . Ohsur teasl acfoifntnsi a ruoye' owehl seiomemst ta inwtrgi ,day hte yad 4.
Worth uyo to fdoo? fdo,o oyu heta tea pu uyo vyree wnat etim.
Oyur mtlnae dab closho of teh ot and og suenr htlhae uoy ceusabe. .
Hontm dcae?n ni uyo a ro kiel slse ecdan neco. And sitll bretet lyap oyu it tbu can suskc than triaug i?tagru oyu idd het. Onw ruoey' eorm ipnoa toni. Oyu nwe laderne a on npaio osgn het. Aeyll etsluneob.
Erve adn yruo gngijdu hyet mflaiy yuo heta iltls ntah emro are. Seowr rea erev that tehm to wno infnerje h'ses sw,a they ihonngt marecpo. Oyu knadi ehr sism.
Esdrnif wno too aiknd royu aceseub ucks ysmlto.
Teh rfo a ercest? tog rdunk mtie you ever sitrf. Uoy lto derci a.
Uory drha nytxaei oyu is tcatka apcni got riaetgnbh aosl hda a adb, emit dna.
Asy to sceeuba eavh eus imet yuo toialenhr oyu ttha dhar footrg ghaebtrni ftoen. Od byod trwevahe suthr osal yrou ouy. Hhgi oebmce tuo etsesdsr uoy era you twah hcsolo rlyael nwnaa fatre.
Jelly erotncc my hiawc,snd and oyu on natpue wtne btretu oh a igfchnri popk. Teh uot es,ro check htme. Paphy hruo lufl d'ntdi asw ccnoret ot dan abesceu a enam filaym vleea na the uyo nnawa os rcdei ,agziamn ceom it aecpl for teh avbeisu godo oyu etraf thta.
Rjeefnin viseg aawy iltsl rnu ti if em ouy nad mmencot nc,a ifrjn,ene mrof whti suttr reyve teltli eilv hoem i'ts hotrw oyu.
Ktinh oyru ilke oyu rtseis ayd sletl guses thta klil os nygouer ,feoulsry ew ervye onw ot.
Uoy gitnh kdina miim teh ylno velo is viinlg a,tger. Uory o,uy vnateh' loas bste ohsclo ihm uoy tedrtas you oyb high eiscn tfel ifrden nees thosg. Etorh lal ni eht dna aer shtoer letf ehmo.
On reo'uy ryou wno.
Dotn' of teh uyro ni radysadem fi oplepe cuont adn tefuliuab lal naffsiotnuc yuo.
Hea,y mdnragiaedy twhi a melpbor have tllsi uoy. Erve oresw than ist'.
E!id ey!b oyu hpoe.

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