A letter from Apr 22nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I really hope you feel better. Things aren't really good now. I hope you reached your goals. Did you lose weight? Did you choose a good high school? Did you get better at dancing? Can you play the guitar? How is it going in school? Do you have a roommate? Did you get some new friends? What's their names? What high school did you take? How did you decorate your room? I really hope it's green. What kept you going? Is mom calling all the time? How is it going for Andjela? How is Jovana doing in 8th grade? Is Andjela in England? Is it hard, you know, with life? Do you know what you wanna be when you grow up? Do you have your hair short now? Is it a shaggy wolf cut? Do you finnaly wear makeup? Did you get taller? Do you visit Jennifer sometimes? Did your clothes style change? Did you get a boyfriend? Do you miss Filipstad? Is it fun there you are now? Do you have a dance youtube channel? Is your fear of water better? Is Coronavirus over? I really hope it is. It's hard now. Did you forget any good stuff that happened? Do you still have contact with any of your middle school classmates? I hope you're not that lazy anymore! Get yourself together! You can do it! Make mom proud now, please... Study really hard and don't forget to rest... Are you eating normaly? Please do. There are so many things I want you to think about: Don't get too stressed. Work hard and prove mom that you can get a job. Make her the proudest mom. Let her see what amazing daughter she have. Call Jovana and help her with her studies. I know it's hard, but you can do it. Think about what you want to and will become. Write again here and send it to us when we are 19. I love you, please take care of yourself and others. Don't let me down. And, Happy Birthday. From 14 years old Kiki to 16 years old Kiki.

Epilogue

6 months later

Nothing freaking changed Kiki.
You are Sucidal!
You're still fat and ugly.
No you did not cut your hair.
Friends? You actually stopped being friends with Jennifer, but she's asking...

Rorootwm you atkl ngaia ot ot erh.
Rhtee thwi aghn rea uoy kato hoolsc otu ni poelep etrpty htroe msoe fer?inds. Ton tehy uoy woh ear egmdniai. Them wkon aylultac yraaldle, uyo leenl of eon. Of tehm utb urye'o nya hiwt oselc tno.
Ti osl,hco prepul eivl you oorm wtih to nda ruoy is mceos uroy hnew sllit mfiayl.
Ton ymg lrboyabp nda alfi gnuistyd shnlmlpasadäskku casls ly'oul or'eyu and.
Thaws' ekli nuf boy uoy hsolco ni a. Uyo onwk onnag ask ot'nd abuto yroeu' his tyr fro hmi, nspa ubt angythni dan.
Osla. . . . Fncaofitisn tgriniw yeo'ur ady d,ay a lewho at hte srohu miestmose stlae 4.
Owtrh ate ot dof,o pu uoy oyu nwta yuo df?oo erevy hate imet.
Dan surne uryo fo suaeecb go ntaelm ot uyo dba the locohs haleth. .
Monht neoc ouy nade?c a nadec ro ielk in sels. Ddi plya ertebt eht yuo nca it dan rgtaui sukcs raug?it btu litsl nath uoy. Iopna 'oeyru noti erom wno. Ouy pnoia a hte nogs nwe daneelr no. Lylae slboneeut.
And are uyo moer erev ingjgud ehty sltli ryuo ahet ahtn ilayfm. Aws, atht tyhe nhtgoin now meproca ear 'shes tehm owser fjnnreei ot eerv. Dnaki reh yuo ssmi.
Sltmyo yruo eucesba densirf aidnk suck too now.
Kndur ouy got irtfs orf a het eevr s?eerct time. A rdiec tlo oyu.
A b,ad ckatta rhda is tog eaxynti ahd emit lsoa adn etgahirbn apcni ruyo you.
Yuo ot ecesbua oyu temi eahv hretnbagi ues aohlrntie tfone hrad say trgfoo atht. Ryuo dybo you htusr loas do ewrvetah. Uyo ghih rea ocsohl mboece etfra yuo yalrel naanw tuo sretsdse wath.
A ouy and neatpu llejy ym rcnoect ho sndachi,w okpp no burtet rinifghc wnet. Mhet oesr, kechc uto eht. Evaibus hrou os aws uyo itddn' idrec ylfima come lluf na anem gizan,am and the hppya gdoo tcceron ubascee atref the a to it aevel caple naanw that ofr oyu.
Ti's llttie stutr nac, njfeinre unr fi whort seivg eienrfn,j ayaw tiwh nda you ouy tlisl hoem ti em omrf cmoenmt eyrev ielv.
Verey ,oysluefr won seirst ntkhi we yuo ltles leik ady lkil sgseu to ttah yenrgou os yuor.
Iankd miim yuo het ngith a,rget love lyon vinilg si. Oryu ohgst oohslc imh rfdine uyo, tdrteas tfle hihg laso snee cnesi yuo tesb htvn'ea oyu boy. Oemh dan sohetr ertho in letf all eth rea.
Eoryu' no royu won.
Dsryemaad oyru dna t'ndo uctaoifsfnn tcnou lal lpoepe fo fi etufubail eht oyu in.
Ltlis a e,ayh uoy maiyaddenrg hvea brlpeom ithw. Hnat swreo veer st'i.
Oyu eby! pheo e!di.

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