A letter from March 31st, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, hey!!!!! how are you i hope youre doing good and happy hows your dysphoria going? is it as bad? did u get a binder? have u been feelin euphoric lately hows it at hoMe has anything bad happened? didanyone find out about THE secret? hows school? are people accepting there whats your ********* or are u still confused? or did u go back to India are u still alive if you are **** good job i didn't think you'd make it this far do u still go by ell? is all our friends still in our life? did u get diagnosed with autism or ADHD finally? are you out to more people? how do you look is your hair grown back again :( ?? or did u never let it grow out bc ill prolly do that lol did u go on vaca to india? have met any new friends? are u still friends with kai ? did you leave more people like u always do? did anyone actually stay? do you still love benji *** much? are u still talking to faiha? have you et someone that makes you happy? you deserve it haha what about animes whats your favourate ? how many friends do you have ? did u get those cute cloths you always wanted? do u still have to sneak outside? is mom treating you any better? is dad still okay? how is our brother doing? hows school? any better ? if not its okay baby i know its hard :/ do u still live there? hows skateboarding going? u still going to tuition? are you happy rn? i am not happy doe i hope we will be for the future i dont know iff ill make it alive enough to read this letter but :) how old are u prolly 15 right? is covid over yet? are schools open again? I hope you meet someone that treats you just like how u deserve to be treated i love you stay strong <3 - Elliot-14

Epilogue

4 months later

hey!!!!! how are you i hope youre doing good and happy -I died
hows your dysphoria going? is it as bad?- not as bad as it used to be
did...

Tow ruo me ie-bdn?r hgtobu orf u heay frlnegrdii a ex get.
Tsi no i u a heav olt ym ceopuihr nfeiel ardstet li-dalatynke otitkk eneb decncenofi ): gnsotiob isgtpon eebn.
Abd nhngtyia ta srespure wohs to olt dba sha as ti of mohe otn depaneh?p edus tbu ti eb a.
Tr?sece eth obuat naeony idd find epoen out.
A o?cls-oh akoy i fali im is tbu siednfr sbaodr meda ogann sohw ynugistd the atpr bda sit eth ewf.
Itcepagcn verne yatlesuix oury maed hwti a be nad cein tsawh nefrisd i ednfir id mseo aer :) os pleope era aer btu meignida i u eshs lpeeop lltsi ro tereh giancr du?ecf-ons new.
Og ro back nhtka i- niaid u t’dind to ddi odg.
Uyo dnma 'yodu u tnhik aer i nd'dti rrr-ki maek this ti if good ear sillt job iavel far.
Eingrc to swa yb tlisl ary i abck od u go -on lel lle? tewn.
Mteh uor stol illst eolv one i in lla esndrif i esrt rea lfe-?i hte uor si.
Ro gte u ddha ddi geddnaosi n?lfayli on twhi suatim.
Roem esleyoep-p? ouy to tou rae pepleo tanh 008 emor.
Owh massh aoyltlt uoy loduw —okluo em do.
Ogwr (: eevn it ?? worng atth hari delruohs bcka did rheaced :) or otu cb u oyur lte lol- od nevre ill loyprl is ym aniag nvree.
Go cava on did ot ?niadi on u.
Enw ncbhu nya leov mhte ahve i etm a ?ndrsi-fesey.
Ear llist wiht eyss aik?- u deisfnr.
Stmnide velea kile tihw eepolp tsih pu dmi-o? wsa i dgal you u more egav did laaswy os ginyanno.
Eoynvree yes ddi ?ayst- aoptnitmr aysdte caulalty anoney.
Ouy imh oevl i dt’on ubt lstil cekch up esy i buhcn enjib rlyl ovle uch?m no ass do imh.
Ehr eb -fihaa? emt ocne eevn i acme ot sdrinef tilsl tuo os u sa pu ud dan dpuor ot we are kgliatn.
But samek nemoeso oyu ddi pa?phiy- that have telf tem you she.
Yuor anmeis ti dreevse uoy i poetdps twah haah oarafevtu -? hatws obaut ighcanwt mhet.
Cudol ? reev iesndfr yuo u have do nhat roem gmiiean how yman.
Gnaame i u cexatyl btu laswya ?twdnae clthos oyu idd gte -tno hoest tecu.
Lilst eksna to aehv u do ?dtoiesu epeneeeeeo.
Yna mmo e?rtbet genatrti si yes uyo.
Ihm sotmmeies elvo btu add oky?a si hse llits i aemn.
Aawyls elki hwo lla the tesb loxorb no odn?gi uor tbreroh is ady.
Hswo ? ocs?loh yan no eettbr.
Be ardh i okwn if tno ot weets its koay tis i /:- owh i ssmi edsu byab.
E?htre do u sey vlei sltil.
A uohgtb eon ewn batrngaiksedo i hosw ggi?no.
Ngogi cdetsihw u breett rhtc enw ym tisll i elki ot ?ttinouii.
Ma tno n-r? papyh on i ouy rae.
Ew rof poeh so the oto ilwl ton be i te-ufru hpyap i ode i am phoe.
Arde ghoneu ffi it to itsh amke erlett tbu dont ): lavie konw i lil.
Ghitr? pryoll u ear 15 old how.
- hreet vicod tsi kiand gi yes ovre is yt?e.
Rea onep ag?ain oolhcss esy.
Dtt-eear tub wten ki yuo tmee u nsmoeoe it i tetreb tsju oyu tib epho a dseu that to illh i owh nwdo to klie rof tub sdeveer be i eserdve tertas.
Vole sayt -l1toy41e-ral-i5 - <3 i rontgs oyu.

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