Still alive? Well read this, it is from you.

Dear FutureMe, Right now I am bent. I just weighed myself and I weight the same damn amount I did last week, 204 lbs. My percent body fat is 23. I am 7 weeks into the second body for life 12 week challenge and am frustrated with the lack of progress. I started at 214 lbs, 10 lbs in 7 weeks sucks ass. I should be at -14 lbs. What the Hell is wrong with my body fat, it should be lower. If it is not 22 next week, I am going to break that scale as a public service. I feel like I sacrafice 6 days a week. I bust my ass on a treadmill 2 times a week to the point that I think I might pass out, pedal to a near heart attack on a stationary bike that feels like it is buried in sand, and push like I'm the first man to give birth lifting the same stupid dumbells or weighted pullys. I am trying to improve my physique all the while surrounded by natural beauties who simply get a gym membership to flaunt their God given perfect asses around in tight spandex. I drink 2 goddamn protien shakes a day, eat potatoes with salsa, salmon and chicken, and don't forget the fucking cottage cheese and yogurt (never get tired of that shit). I eat this health food while I smell the delicious greasy burger breath of my coworkers, or, even better, get food chunks shed on me as they eat candy bars or other forbidden items right in front of me. When will I look like the 'after' picture? When will this diet become easy? Seems like some weeks are hard and others are not. Sometimes it takes every last bit of willpower within my very soul to resist the neverending buffet of free food that is all but shoved down my throat at work. Brickoven pizza, bagels, candy, popcorn, soda, and "Hey everyone, lets go do lunch at the best tasting restaurant in Dumps-ville, USA, my treat." My voice cracks when I say no. My resolve is so paper thin sometimes, just one little excuse and I could take a swandive into a steamtray of greasy ribs slathered in barbeque sause. But I hold on to the hope that one day I might look in the mirror and see something attractive. I hold on to the hope that when I read this again, I could reminisce about the time I almost gave up; I almost did. But for a simple, stubborn, angry, insane and sick and tired of the same shit collection of reasons I don't really know how to describe, I will go on; even if every week a scale says 204 lbs and 23 percent bodyfat, I will continue. I am changing everything my life was based upon as I continue my personal quest to find a way out of this labrynth of fat I have built around my body. Hope the person that reads this knows how important they are to me.