A letter from January 10th, 2021

Dear Micki, How's life? You're 16 now, if you don't have your permit than you better get your rear into gear and break into a DMV and knock over those slackers like dominoes to get to the front of the line and demand to get evaluated. However, at this point you could also have your license, so that would be sick. If so, have you gone on any cool drives with your buddies? (Jordan, Taylor, Hope, Emily... anyoneelsecoolthatyou'vemetandthinkareworthyofjoiningyourAteam) Maybe the beach, In-n-Out, maybe even Joshua Tree! I'm praying you are back in school- like, in person. If not, that really sucks. How's Mom doing? Has she dated anyone? (If so, you better tell her if they're worth her time.) Is Mamaw still around? I'm sitting at the bar and she just pulled out a jar of almond butter. Classic Mamaw. How is/was the Kenobi Show? Was it as awesome as you had hoped? How is season 3 of Mando? How is WandaVision, Falcon and Winter Soldier, and Loki? Are they all that you had hoped? Are the rumors true and there is an Ahsoka show? Has it already happened? Has Spiderman 3 come out yet? was it totally sick? How is Lauren? Are she and Javier still together living in Colorado? Are they- perhaps- hitched or on their way to? How is Noah? Is he still with Anna? (What am I saying, of course he is, even when she cheated he came running back with his tail between his legs after being forced into the cruel, harsh world.) Are they further in their relationship? If either are married or on the way you better make sure that you are in their weddings. (Brie too.) Speaking of Brie, how is she? Is she still with Max? Is he famous yet? How is Bowen? Is he engaged/married yet? How are Brodric and Blythe? Has Brodric opened up King Pizza yet? ;) How are Courtney and Carlito? Still traveling the world? How are Kelsey and Nick? Are they prego yet? I'm honestly just waiting because I feel like they would totally be the first. How are Jalen and Megan? Still goofy? How was Michigan? It must have been awesome to be there again- and with everyone! Did you figure out a sleeping arrangement? Oh- DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND?!?! HAVE YOU HAD YOUR FIRST KISS? Or are you still as lonely as I am right now while writing this? Well, you probably have more friends cause the world is open again. (I hope, I don't want to jinx it) How foul is your language? I've been cursing plenty, but just to myself and the Smith girls, NEVER around mom. How much do you weigh? Sorry to put you in the hot seat- but I have to know. My guess for myself is about 115-125 right now, but then again I skipped 2 meals in the last 15 hours and seriously was shaking and had to slide down the stairs to be safe. Did you get a rowing machine or an elliptical? When did you get it? Do you have a new phone? Mine is fine, but a little slow and ****. Have you figured out a way around Qustodio, or just given in? Did mom become a drill sergeant with it or give up? What is your hair like? I gave myself bangs, but I've decided to wait until Michael can dye my bangs, I don't want to ruin my virgin hair with bleach. Have you cut a lot off? Just take a look and go over the wonders of the past for me. Has Noah pulled himself together and gone to therapy- or better yet- has he gotten over his thing with planes? He can be such a disappointment sometimes with that. How do you feel? Are you going to therapy? Are you on any new medications? Do you have anymore disorders? As of right now, I only have ADD, some Anxiety, and a **** ton of Depression. Has life got better for you? Do you feel better now? More confident, more free? More loved? More important? Is it ok for you to cry during the day now? Have you? I've only cried at night alone and in the evening with mom. Do you feel proud of yourself? You don't have to compete to feel happy. Don't kick yourself because you can't do something as good as other people. They might have more experience, but they can't do it like you can. You do things your own way, you always have. It is ok to ask for help, to lean on people. Don't be afraid to, it doesn't make you look weak, it makes you look strong for asking for help when society wants you to do it all on your own. Have you attempted suicide or self harm? If so- stop RIGHT NOW. It won't accomplish anything, just bring you more pain. Don't hate yourself enough to do that, love yourself enough to smile genuinely. Make your resting face flat, so that when you smile, it is REAL. Love yourself as much as I do. How is your relationship with God? Are you still going to church? When was the last time you talked to Him? Share a few words with him now, you won't regret it. How are you feeling about Daddy? It's been 4 years, 6 months, and 11 days since we lost him when you read this. Have you had any dreams with him? Have you talked to him? Can you remember how his voice sounded? His wonderous laugh? His enveloping embrace? Do you still remember them? If there is anything he wanted you to learn from him, I think it was to be honest, to treat everyone like a brother or sister, and to live every day to the fullest, in the best way. Also that morning walks are the best kinds of walks. And that pranks are the best when both parties can laugh, and to do them a lot. (Speaking of which, I haven't pulled any pranks lately.... I suppose you will know if I conduct any, I hope they were good. ;) ) How are your stories? I say you should do some writing, on either of your Star Wars stories, or the other ones. (I don't really remember those that much- oof.) Speaking of stories- How are Noah's coming? (Not Noah your brother, the other one.) How is Ultimate coming? Am I super badass? How about ASPCS? Am I badass? Now onto the other Noah, (aka Noey) has he gotten any stories published yet? If so, how are they? Have you gone to a concert yet? (I'm listening to instrumental TSwift) How is your Youtube? Have you made anymore shortfilms with friends? How was the rest of the film class? Did Mr.Duke bully you anymore? If so, did you actually do something about it? Are you taking it again this year? Is "Not A Rickroll | no regrets" still your most viewed video? How many subs do you have? I only have 8 as of right now, I hope you have at least 15 by the time you read this. I already have 6 copyright strikes, but I don't really care, because it is obviously not going to be my main source of income. Has Luke's channel blown up like he had hoped? Do you get to brag about being his 10th sub now? Do you have a dog yet? What did you name it? Is it a boy or a girl? Have you shot a coyote yet? There's so much more I want to write about, but I gotta get changed to go to Vromans with Jordan and Taylor to get some books. (Is Vromans still open?) I hope you have some chic clothes now, Do you have that sewing machine yet? (Sorry, I really should go.) I love you and hope that you still love yourself. Just know that in Alternate Universes there are other yous that care for you very much, even though they do not know you. some will have a better life than you, some will have a worse life, but be thankful that you get to be one of them. Don't do unprescribed drugs. Best of luck in 2022! 😘>mwah< Micki of 1/10/2021