A letter from November 16th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, hello, it took me so much energy and power to be able to write this, this is my second one today, this website is really great way better than the papers at the back of my closet ( it just took me 5 tries to spell closet correctly), I was reading the public letters, its so crazy that all these millions of people out there living their lives and me/you/us living this one. It's crazy how for all of our lives we are the same person we will never change, I will always be dareen, even if my personality changes, if my face change and even if my name changes I will always be meeeeeeeeee. I was just emailing aimen about this website because I genuinely feel like these letters are so important and sentimental. My personality is so shallow because my real thoughts are so deep inside of me, and come out in very rare occasions. SCHOOL that place WILL drive me crazy. It's like I'm so uncomfortable every single day there and to be honest, this isn't because of school ts because of moua. I seem like someone who doesn't care but my every single action and thought is revolving around what will this person think, I adapt my personality to people in extreme ways, which shouldn't be happening. I always think people are constantly judging me well because I'm constantly judging them, which makes me sound horrible but it just roots from my insecurities. and I don't judge by money or looks or stupid things like that, but more like personality? IDK it's pretty messed up. There are very few people who I'm genuinely comfortable around aimen ( we were so mean to her for no reason she's one of the special people you meet in your life), lama, and (kind of) joudy. I can and can't imagine my life t the same time. Sometimes I think that everyone around me is changing and becoming better and I'm stuck. GRAMERLY WILL DRIVE ME CRAZY as i write it underlines EVERYTHING i get it. i cant spell. anyway i misssss egypt like alot and my family one person that i somehow always keep thinking about evry now and then is nadia, me and her were gret friends she was also one of the people that are special in your life , she tried to contact me while i ws really as pressed on checking up on her and talking i miss her alot ad its all my fault . She was one of the kindst and nicest person ive ever met. and i will probably never see her again. I wish i can contact her and tell her all this but itd pretty much imposibble. i want to go back to lotte tree just to viit her and apologise even tho it passed i feel so much guilt. as i was reading all the other letters i was thinking i wish i coud contact the person so im putting my email here ( please dont make me regret this) dh142020@gmail.com ps. you REALLY need to get over the sport thing yolo i sent you this a while before your birthday to reflect