Dear FutureMe, its november 7th and I honestly don't know how to feel right now. I hate myself and honestly i kinda want to die but i don't know. I don't even know if you'll get this letter when its 2024 and you're 20. Hopefully you figured out or at least sorta know what you want to do in life. I'm writing this cause I'm at a point in life where i feel kinda hopeless but when you read this ... I hope u smile.I hope that you're crying but because you got through it and i hope you're happy. Im crying right now but you already knew that. I know a lot of things had changed in those 4 years. Like friends,family but you mostly. You better know how to drive,traveled, and do a lot of things with your best friend and if not do one of those things right now.Anyways my relationship with our parents has been so bad this year Im not even gonna lie but when u read this maybe it got better who knows.There's so many things i want to write about today but i rather not. I don't want to ruin your mood whenever you're reading this.I just hope you're doing better then you are right now and that u make 16 year old me proud.
Epilogue
2 days later
Dear past Me, Its november 7th 2024.....tbh about a month ago u wanted to die so idk if this is like a just a repeated thing with u being depressed...
Gtegint ehlp but lal now urye'o adn ta tasel. A pcosisohlytg ekwe sa and on igseen xnte yrou ees eyogtlionscg og won tipytscarsih a ru a uyo swa lewl and wnet ot. . . . Crosodt aotl talo so fo. Abd tginh tbh i ees but as a 'tdno htis. Eernv yan lrae hple uoy dha. . A its ehnt tale ebettr meit bth essgu toko i nlgo nerve btu ti. Ddha oyolgm no dna ofr not leesf bene sa msde uyro and lwel sa esiesordpn ist nad oyru'e rleac nices nwgkroi befeor head. Fnailly ofr uyo otg adnogised oals adhd. Iekl ni tub i swa vie nac u eikl tasale aarmdict eerw ttah nbeig udmb igebn it aecf eefl aedm hye kownn fetl crotsod asyawl u that in arctiadm yuo ti but bru yawals. Bene alasyw lsefe klie eneorvey it ftel dnruoa ienc sw'atn ttah own ti eativddilna ubt i em by vei. I od i athw ownk rtaso ot anaswyy wnat. Enht to ti other ithrg dogo noit fannalici ot uerspu lfee cteh teg be nwo my clpea in hsbeboi nmea nwta sutj usace i beertt i a a nda obj. Os teehsr ahtt. . Of nghsti soal dnechag has loat. Epolep ilek aols mnya yfift utb tfel met uoy wen fyitf os ist eplepo. . . . Atht utb so nebe ecsni with kown hontm uyor ohrug yuro aspt sup erebtt hrnioitspale you tkhin i senrpta susge osnedmrow( ivred hucm tog of im sah olat owh both pphay ithw thiw :) o)wsdn it dan sthi i to. I omdo nikth u my urni mhuc, iignmae nwet vere ecaus gadl htrhgou gto poelep mi 'ontd anth lto ti hthguor dlcuo i a u lcoud but uoy omer so kwon. By me ludow 'tnod for of lla nda orhhtgu kown irdsahphs u ): i i'm be ivlgin fo prduo vrehitgyne fi knwo fyrsoule u seitdpe tub ouhtrhg i ngigo rdupo the twen u. Og egt orkw ot nda the adn ehghri up dlore cuhm ruoy i'm lvie ttoasexinecp s0ry2 dol won dna i will itghr eirhhg to.
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1karí:
9 months ago