A letter from October 29th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Hey, how are you doing? This is the first out of 3 letters I am going to send, this one I will receive in 3 years, the other two, in 5 and 10. I doubt much will change in 3 years, but I think its still worth sending this letter, cause maybe, just maybe, something in my life did change. I'm currently 21, its Thursday night, and tomorrow I have "school", you know the one, the one for heavy machinery cleaning. In 3 years you will for sure have finished it already, did it matter? Are you still working in the same place? You probably still are. You most likely will handle this job for many many years to come, because you can't do better. ... Do you still live with your mom? Is she still as bad as she has always been? It is so hard for me to not hate her, each day that passes I see myself hating her more and more. But she is still my mom, I need to love her, right? Are you and Seb still together? Have you gone on vacations to Edinburgh or other places? Right now we are in the middle of a pandemic, so I can't go now, which is fine, I had no plans to anyway. I wonder how much the world changed in 3 years. I really really love Seb, and I hope that we last for a long long time. But there is still a small part of me that knows it wont. I am sure of it. I hope it hasn't happened yet, but knowing myself, you still have that feeling, don't you? Has... Faolan/Reg, gotten in contact with yo again, since he stopped talking with me last year, I have gotten this deep horrible feeling everytime I think about it. I feel sad. I try to push through, but I just don't seem able to, I really wanted to be his friend. Oh Oh! Speaking of friends! Have you made any? Doubt it! Still as lonely as ever, wanting to live everyone elses lives, hating yourself, craving friendship but being unable to have one that lasts long. But that's okay, hopefully I will die young. - Bruno 29-10-2020