A letter from October 13th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, hmm, no clue what I'm about to write. Besides the fact that I'm broke and I need a job to save up for uni. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life. The pressure is getting real, I start year 10 next year. Not that long until HSC. I'm still obsessing over my crush, haha, I hope you find someone better than him, although he does seem like the boyfriend I've always wanted. (tehee, if I do get the job I hope it's at the Maccas he works at, I doubt we'll talk cause he is intimidating ngl. I hope he also doesn't get a gf, I'm that jealous girl, if you didn't know) Even though the boys at my school are uglyyy, it's gotten to a point that I wonder if I'm ever going to have a boyfriend in high school. America seems way more fun than Australia. (btw, to the Americans reading this, do you guys have parties at your houses on the weekends or after school? I feel like I'm missing out.) Yeah, we have no parties and don't get drunk, unless of course I'm not getting invited to secret parties. I've been dreaming of another life lately, where I'm rich and famous and don't have to worry about what I'm going to be in the future. I hate the spotlight though. Imagine being famous... How's everything been for you? I've been :/. Can I just say, I've been so rude to my parents, I'm so sorry about that, Idk why, I just get annoyed. I get annoyed at everything tbh. I feel left out at school. My 'best friend' seems to prioritise others, I'm always there for her and she acts like she's my best friend on insta and snap but irl Idk. I just stand there when she talks to her class friends cause I'm blocked off from their friend circle and they don't notice. Same with my other primary school best friend. My friendship group is small but whenever we walk I'm always trying to catch up behind them. I'm so paranoid that someone from school is gonna know it's me. Can I also say I hate the dickheads at my school. Like fuck you, it's only when they're in a pair. I really do hate the stuck up one, I hope we NEVER end up in a class or I'm actually going to throw hands and break his pointy as nose. There's also this dumbass girl who is so judgy. Sometimes on the bus, she'll just stare at me and look me up and down. I can't even look up or we'll end up looking each other in the eye and I don't want that. I swear, I start overthinking that there's something wrong with me when people stare. Aghhh, please if you do know it's me. don't say a word. anyways, that's the tea of 2020. I hope 2022 is going to be a great year for you. damn, the years have gone by quick. love u xx