A letter from October 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, Hey, I'll give you a little rundown of what's going on right now. I have court on the 15th where I testify for the first time. I decided to start visitation with Amanda again. I will no longer live with the Vaughns on November 1st. I still have therapy with Josh. I am on Zoloft still. I self-harmed a couple of days ago. I just deactivated my old Instagram, Facebook, and Gmail. I feel numb but also happy, I don't think that I am truly processing everything. CJ is in a shelter doing great, he called me three times in a row. I'm trying to finish up school so I can graduate next year. I haven't looked at colleges yet, and I'm contemplating joining the Air Force when I get out of high school. Now I have some questions 1. Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? 2. Is your relationship with Amanda good? 3. How many years did Spencer get? 4. Rate your anxiety and depression. 5. Are you happy? 6. What's a goal you have for the future? 7. Did you join the military? 8. Are you taking care of yourself? 9. Have you gotten better at singing? 10. Have you lost weight? 11. Have you stopped self-harming? 12. Suicidal thoughts? 13. Have you learned to love yourself? I don't know what else to say except that I hope that you are happy, and I mean TRULY happy. You have come so far and I hope you never stop moving forward in life. I love you don't you forget that.

Epilogue

almost 3 years later

1. Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend?
Yes, I do have a boyfriend now, his name is Devin and we've been seeing each other for...

Onw a mnhto atbou. . Ewll tnsihg iongg rae. Ot twih mhi be yapph m'i elylra. .
2. Oo?gd wiht amdana si hntoiilrpesa oruy.
O,wn sye. So good. Is a sah mmo fo krwo heewr yodat edon tol eb she ot. Nibgyu s'seh a yrcteulrn eusoh.
3. Idd anmy areys hwo spencer g?et.
Eh 3 i serya tgo vebeile. Noos tuo be elh'l. .
4. Uroy ssrpneeiod ntiayex rate dna.
Stmo 50/1 si as syad peiosdnesr llew ynexiat 5/10. Etterb nhta erefob.
5. Oyu aer y?ppah.
E,sy ma i oh. Inlayfl i ma.
6. Oalg uuefrt? a uoy 'swath rof vhea the.
Soeogmcyotl dan shocol rhia dicrhel'ns ot i ftorse ot watn go badri.
7. Imtyrla?i idd onij eth oyu.
Kdi lol ,no evha iteynax uoy dan t'ndo eoyurslf ednirpsseo,.
8. Gtiank ouy crea yoesl?ufr rea of.
Of stor. Igtyrn to. Nhat i whit 'im uhhto,g wsa lhefa-set ebtret lses.
9. Ngteot ttbree ?gnnsigi at oyu ahev.
Ae,hv khnit reha eevry i gtse day i i retebt it.
10. Ouy veha stlo wighte?.
A tol. Leyrrluag ttsngii 801 then i asw 031 bouta ta now mi'.
11. Heav ouy rielhm-?sfnag opdepts.
Yse. Tnsmho nad 1 ma reay 6 eclna! i.
21. Sdiaucil h?stthoug.
As cemo dna do ton hyte og cmhu,. .
31. Yuo ot realned of?slruye eolv vahe.
Ot to ohw ansritgt lenar im'. . . Be a ryeev vleeulatyn ti ady a dicosine t'si liwl eeerzb. .

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