A letter from October 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, Hey, I'll give you a little rundown of what's going on right now. I have court on the 15th where I testify for the first time. I decided to start visitation with Amanda again. I will no longer live with the Vaughns on November 1st. I still have therapy with Josh. I am on Zoloft still. I self-harmed a couple of days ago. I just deactivated my old Instagram, Facebook, and Gmail. I feel numb but also happy, I don't think that I am truly processing everything. CJ is in a shelter doing great, he called me three times in a row. I'm trying to finish up school so I can graduate next year. I haven't looked at colleges yet, and I'm contemplating joining the Air Force when I get out of high school. Now I have some questions 1. Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? 2. Is your relationship with Amanda good? 3. How many years did Spencer get? 4. Rate your anxiety and depression. 5. Are you happy? 6. What's a goal you have for the future? 7. Did you join the military? 8. Are you taking care of yourself? 9. Have you gotten better at singing? 10. Have you lost weight? 11. Have you stopped self-harming? 12. Suicidal thoughts? 13. Have you learned to love yourself? I don't know what else to say except that I hope that you are happy, and I mean TRULY happy. You have come so far and I hope you never stop moving forward in life. I love you don't you forget that.

Epilogue

almost 3 years later

1. Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend?
Yes, I do have a boyfriend now, his name is Devin and we've been seeing each other for...

A tboua tnmho now. . Iogng are gsihtn lelw. Lalyre i'm hpapy to iwht mih eb. .
2. Is ihpltnasorie nmdaaa ryou ogd?o wtih.
,won eys. So odog. Weher noed odtya is mmo esh rowk has to tlo eb of a. Suoeh sesh' a ignbuy yrlerutcn.
3. Ohw eesrncp ddi seray mayn et?g.
3 he tog bileeve aeysr i. Eb onso lh'le uto. .
4. Niaxtye raet dan ruyo srneeispdo.
Llew eisdeosrnp ysad ostm yanxeti as 0/51 is 501/. Berofe brtete ahtn.
5. Uyo hp?pya ear.
Yes, ma i oh. Nilafyl am i.
6. Olga a teh haev uurf?et oyu fro awhs't.
Eyltomgcoso to and irah go ot h'einslcrd twna scolho i sfrtoe aidbr.
7. Oyu jnio iya?itmlr did hte.
Dt'on lol hvae oefyuslr ,oseersnpdi ixnytae dki adn n,o oyu.
8. Fo are agtkni ?fyosrleu uyo rcae.
Fo rots. To ryitng. Bteter whti tanh i asw ,otguhh sles i'm et-shlafe.
9. Ta tegont ?nigngsi teetbr veha ouy.
Ady i tgse i a,hev arhe reyev inthk i ti rebett.
10. Stol aveh oyu eitwgh?.
A lot. Btuoa tenh was i igsttin rlaguylre mi' wno 081 310 ta.
11. Se-glim?fhnra edtposp avhe uoy.
Yse. I 6 am onsmth 1 !cenla adn arey.
12. Otuh?sght ulisadic.
Eyht oecm nda do sa ,chmu otn og. .
13. Avhe ot olve o?yslfuer redaenl uoy.
How ot ot eanlr gtrsanit mi'. . . Eb a dceiions a eezber ayd ervey ti ts'i wlil aeylulentv. .

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