A letter from September 21st, 2020

Dear FutureMe, I'm 19 right now... It's the night before the day I move into Cardiff University, I've had a sick feeling of nerves for the entire week. I'm sat in my dry bedroom, haunted by so many bad memories, at my grandmothers house in Leigh Park. Tomorrow, I will finally be cutting off my toxic family, moving to Wales and starting a new life. Life has felt like a never ending nightmare, up until this point. I've always had my family's tight hold over me, everything I have ever done up until this point has been tainted by them. They made me feel like ***** was the only way out. They abused me and stole 19 years from me, but my life starts tomorrow, I hope. I'm dating Connor right now, he is the absolute love of my life. More than that, love doesn't even feel like enough of an adjective to describe how I feel about him. I really hope we are still dating. I am so certain we will be, I have never felt so certain about someone in my life. He is my twin flame. I really hope he's driving a car that doesn't sound like a dying whale when he locks it by the time I read this ;). I am also cutting off all my friends tomorrow, after I've finished writing this email I will be deleting all my social media. I feel bad, but I know it is needed. I really hope I have real friends by the time I read this. I know it is what I deserve. The coronavirus is running the world at the moment, Boris reckons there will be a 'second wave' soon. I really hope this **** is over in 3 years!!! Even though I have so many thoughts and emotion in me, I'm not sure what else to write, but I want to ask future me some questions and predict what I think the answers will be. Am I still dating Connor? I hope so. Have I spoken to my family since the 22nd September? I hope not. Is the coronavirus still a problem? Probably but I hope not. Do I still do findom? Yes. Am I finally happy with my weight? Yes. Am I nearly finished with my law degree? Yes. Am I enjoying uni? Yes. Am I enjoying Wales? Yes. Do I have a best friend? I hope so. Am I still friends with Jess Bignell? I don't think so. How much do I predict I will have in savings? £3-4000 Do I still have Barry the penguin? Yes. Do I have a part time job right now? Yes. Is my body count still 8? Yes. Can I drive? I ******* BETTER BE ABLE TO. I can't think of any more questions. I am so scared for tomorrow and I am so scared for what could have happened in 3 years, but I trust myself. Sincerely, 19 year old Khadija x