A letter from August 6th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, the last letter was probably talking about how you were depressed and suicidal. I can't blame past me though because I was and still kinda am. I cut my hair found my style over quarantine but still can hide the fact I feel like I'm super fat...I can't believe I'm writing letters to you and I hope you grow to be a strong woman. I Know you remember this letter because it's only what 2 1/2 months away but I can't explain how much effort I put into these I write my life as if I'm not gonna see another day because I might not. Gordon won't let you have your phone upstairs but its chill you've been getting more depressed as school comes around is it the air idk. it comes to one thing you need to live you need air you need to stay not for yourself but others because your family your friends need you. You tried to kill yourself earlier this year with a cord on your closet door but I remember life flashed by not just your past your future if you died. your mother's father and brothers were at your gravestone when everyone graduated pretending as you did. DO NOT DO IT it's not worth it. your brothers your mother they all will fall deep into anger depression and I don't want to ruin there lives like that .become a nurse that helps people I'm crying while typing this because it's true you need to stay alive. Lifes been ok recently other than the phone thing and not having any privacy you've been crushing on actors because you haven't been any boys your age but it's all good. you want to become a nurse and live out that dream. DO IT you won't regret anything I promise. Find someone who likes you for you. dance in the rain let him meet your parents find the one because we all love a good love story. I and Ryne are still close it seems like Ryne's the only one that stuck around. over the summer you went through hell, you're father yelling at you for the simplest things wasn't right. And don't forgive him. as a father you need to be a man but not tear your daughter down at the same time. Don't let anyone make you feel like that you're a good person at heart and you would do anything for anyone even if they were being fake. take being a teenager in, sneak out, break the rules live life because you'll have a hell of a lot of stories to tell to people and your kids. you've been through shit the past year and I don't give a fuck if I just wrote shit deal with It. its hard being in you're position I get it because I'm you. Look around people hate people so don't hate on yourself you have to work for what you have so keep working. it's ok to be different because it's you. now since my text and words are all over the place I'm going to tell you how this year went well since your last b-day welp. you started a dog company with your ex-BFF Courtney you had some good times and made good money... she bailed the day of the dog wash so you got grace and trey to help you (trey being your neighbor )Courtney was furious she was toxic before but now you had enough of her you cut her off. you made a friendship with trey (he still thinks your annoying btw )and grace and you got closer even helped you with another dog wash later on. you gotten close with Ryne rode bikes in the rain watched movies together and he became your GBF can't wait to be better friends with him. Next Hannah thought you were laughing at her dead dog but you were laughing at your all-time crush Nathan's joke. didn't turn out well. sam and Nathan were nice and helped you out. started walking with Nathan before class fell for him even harder. then came to Emma... Emma became your worst enemy PERIOD. she told you to go kill yourself (not knowing that you would try to) you both got in trouble and yeah.... had a crush to get away from your other crush his name was Carson, he was weird but I spent my first football game with him( he also was the first time I cried over a boy). at formal he kinda ditched you but he's like your older brother now. ( yall were in an argument and Ansley your friend said somethings so it was kinda your fault) you got fat-shamed and started eating less lost a lot of weight! you became better friends with Abbie and sat with her group at the table you guys joked about quartine for awhile fell for Nathan once again then got over Nathan and jumped on the jagger train (aka Carsons BFF) see how that might've been a bad choice? didn't end well but some things don't work out right?.... met Gustavo and became friends with summer and christen! also Dominic ( Justin Bieber) summer and you became close but over quartine, there was a fallout started liking Gustavo Gustavo liked his ex who liked the preacher's son but he told everyone in bio. he liked you... -_- (hence heartbreak) he lead you on but it's ok because you got back to liking jagger ( funny story when you told Carson you liked jagger... he was on a discord call with jagger and his friends.. everyone heard it sucked) got depressed again.... quartine happened that's when things started to look up in till your dad and summer.. you got skinnier but you still feel fat and you're getting new glasses cool! and you cut your hair i kinda like it but IDK about it yet it's so uneven but I look like 2000s kelly Clarson lol. I'm writing so much to you but I haven't once said happy birthday so happy birthday I want you to do the same for your sixteen-year-old self too because you're probably crying but don't because you probably have pretty makeup on so don't ruin it... show your artwork off I know it's not much but do it well that's the recap of season 14 Layla's life soo how are you ready for season 15? lol well I'm going to miss you older wiser Layla xoxo past Layla p.s still think I'm fat lol ill get over it go get ourself some man candy or don't and be a queen of everything by yourself period well bye future Layla xoxo again past Layla