A letter from July 22nd, 2020

Time Travelled — 12 months

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, how’s life? are you happy? i hope you’re doing well. if you’re not, well... cheer up. i want to see you smile everyday. i mean, i wanna see you smile TRULY. i don’t want another fake smile. i hope you found someone who makes you feel like you’re beautiful and perfect just the way you are, someone who loves you despite all your imperfections and mistakes. i wanna tell you that i’m sorry for hurting you so much. i cared about the opinions of others so much, i never cared about your opinion. i’m not confident right now. i’m not fully healed right now. i’m still a mess right now. and i would like to apologize for that hehe. i hope, you learned how to love yourself by now. hmm, that’s all. iloveyou darling!💗

Epilogue

6 months later

uy hello, it’s almost 2 years na darling. I’m not okay. I started self-harming, which must be surprising for you. you told yourself before, “I would never hurt myself, I...

Wduol neevr do eht to aevh nerve ahtt. Ta and ow,n arsm oru okol ” gddaeam utb lla cardser. Em ahve olve htea hale ouhh,tg you to em in hsit waht llwi ywa? nyrgit uyo fi co?beem ese i nad i’m i ouy. Enaucsn,i to hela ujst i hwoittu ac’tn hitwuot wnana file yna i ielv to ionse ltfulse ceusaeb het nay esme tbu. R’etyeh dasi i’m to eksam ohw when uoy fnicag i fo ohep woh enosmeo tujs ywa you klie i eth ma udnfo bplsmoer “i btu lal rigeon tjsu dsppuoes fecrpte etmh yuo dna fele antw engoir era ?weerevryhe hte uoy e’uroy to fi lueatibuf. I ” ervne flte atth. Lliw skai me, laryle who i dn’itd am hwo find elvo i orf oeenmos. Am leraly oyu enve cant’ i cecatp beueasc hy?w i wokn owh. Enoemso meoo,sne ingaltk them slee ’mi ot stuj m’i to lgbdiuni newvehre ti’s seapel keil. Od, ?me y,sa i ,cat thaw i utnpn,iaag ohw hwo ahwt ot pngatiuan ’mi lliw newh eikl ot eb i dnee t,alk twahc i i rietd cta ealb i. Altgaa whta annyg,a nbisgaa do nnaadgim ’osay na uy“ ikns’a naamgn oagtni wala itngannkia you ctwah iksa. ” inngiktaan fele ok aksin’ e anwlag gna. Ako ,orpe. Ok ok elki siasaibn act not ekil sa uoy f,uyosrle iarsil ’no“td lwil etyh. Naogn ”. Ccpeat i ibuld l’hylte ot ,tyirng m’i yaak meesono who le,se ikhtn. Velo eylth’l i htkin who. Ohw ghniosw aisk lirg dtisaen a,m to of melfys ayelrl hceso be i i i cat lkie ot the wnta. I keil fi i olev me inkth me to’nd tac o’mesosne ognna. 5 go ot i ysrae negbi lod awnna abkc tusj. Sgreglut if phdepnae none i wev’doul tusj naovlit,iad fo anorlm tish i tsa,ka whti dcciamea wsa. I wnaan be tbu to shti eb i ’todn whsi n,rlaom ekil. To ko ”r,tmsa stuj sit’ on akya an dhar eekp tignyr aecac“almiyld eb ’sti nhdii ttha ot. I,ed leucleyfap i annwa tjus. .

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