Past Present and Future

Hey there me... This has got to be the worst year of my life...past, present, and in future years. You can never prepare yourself for such grieve. The loss of my uncle Wayne, (02-2005) who made sure on my wedding day I was the most beautiful girl in the world...I miss you and love you very much. April 5, 2005...I lost my best friend. My brother Richard. I miss you so much. You were too young to die, you knew that you didn't have much time and you choose not to let anyone know. I am so mad at you for not telling me you were dying. I would have told you how much I love you and how much you mean to me. My heart breaks everyday, knowing I can't talk to you and we can't meet at the post office in Hapeville, just to talk...and have a glass of ice tea. Its December and you died in April... it feels like you died yesterday. It still hurts so bad. Someone once told me that I will never get over the pain, I will have to "learn how to live with the pain" I honestly don't think that its possible to go on day after day and not have my heart break piece by piece. Maybe next time I read this I will read it without crying or hurting. Maybe... And then...well...they say that God only gives you as much as you can handle. I thought I had taken as much as I could take and then the ultimate grieve... The lord took my grandbaby. Hailey Grace Lancaster you were such a beautiful babygirl. God has you resting in his arms peacefully. You drifted off to sleep while mommy held you in her arms as we watched your heartbeat in the monitor get weaker and weaker. You passed away (07-2005) Grandma will always have you in her heart. I love you. God was 2006 a better year? I hope so... I have learned not to say "it can't get no worse" I have learned my lesson on that, I say "it can only get better" I pray that my sister in law Gail will survive without my brother by her side...I will always be there for you Gail. I love you Hang in there Mary...there is a rainbow on the other side of the clouds... I love me... m