A Letter From Your Past Self

Dear FutureMe, If you open this, it should be your 18th birthday. Happy Birthday Love!!! You've been waiting for this day a long time. Is it everything you dreamed of? I hope so. Here's some recap, in case you don't remember everything. Right now you're 16. It's not going exactly how I planned but it's okay. I can't drive yet and I spent my 16th birthday in quarantine instead of on the beach like we planned. :/ I'm dealing with a lot of self positivity issues right now. I weight about 190 pounds. I'm not happy with myself and sometimes I'm just sad for no reason. I have headaches everyday and I stay up all night. I think quarantine is getting to me. There are also riots happening everywhere for the Black Lives Matter Movement. It's making me worried. People are destroying cities and towns. I guess one good thing is that I'm moving into the big room downstairs! I'll be moving in tomorrow! I can't wait to have a bigger space to myself. Anyway, back to you. I have a few questions. First off, is quarantine over and did we find a vaccine for Coronavirus? How did the rest of 2020 play out? I hope the world turned out okay. 2020 has to be the most stressful year ever. Second, can you drive yet? Are you going to college? Did you move in with Nik and Morgan? College is stressing me out already. I feel like my parents are pushing it on me too early. They are making me go to college. If I decide I don't want to go to college there's nothing they can do, but as of right now I'm planning to go anyway. Another thing, please, PLEASE, tell me you got your nose pierced! And dyed your hair! 16 year old you wants to sooo bad. I don't care what my parents think about it. There nothing wrong with it. Also, are you getting a tattoo? I hope so. I want to get one. Finally, did we get our dream body? I hope I lost the weight I have. I hope that you love yourself and have so much confidence. You deserve so much more love than you give yourself. You're beautiful and perfect the way you are. Don't listen to anybody who tells you otherwise Queenie. Now to change the subject a bit. Do you have a boyfriend yet? Is he our dream guy? Does he treat you like a princess and spoil you. I hope so. So far I've had a couple of mishaps with relationships. First off was Joseph. I know you haven't forgotten him. Cheated on me with JULIA! After 9 months of being together! That was like a double betrayal. Actually a triple betrayal because we lost Mariah too! Gosh that was such a mess. It's been almost 10 months since it happened and I'm still broken from it. I did however get over it enough to get another boyfriend. Five months later, me and Matthew got together. Of course it only lasted 5 DAYS! He seemed so innocent in it, saying how "he wasn't ready for a relationship." Please. We stayed friends for months after that and he even still flirted with me sometimes. But then he went for my best friend and for my cousin. What a douchebag! Anyway, I ended everything with him and moved on. Then I met Jarod. This one is really confusing me. He lives in New Zealand so we haven't actually 'met' but we've talked a lot. He texted me multiple times every day. Always asked to play Minecraft and Fortnite with me. I honestly thought that something would happen between us. I mean we literally flirted back and forth! His accent is PRECIOUS and he's so sweet and cute. I really like him but now he won't talk to me. He takes hours to respond to my snaps and hardly ever looks at my stories. We haven't played Xbox together in a while. Did that ever change? Did we ever start talking again? Or did he completely ghost me? I hope we at least stayed friends. He's really nice to talk to. Enough of Jarod though. I really hope you found the right guy and if you didn't, that's okay. We'll find him one day sis. He's out there somewhere. Okay let's move away from boy talk cause they just make me mad. Are we graduating yet? I hope we have good grades and maybe we'll even get accepted into our dream college. Speaking of, what are you planning to be? Have you figured it out yet? Right now I have no idea of what I want to do. I don't know if I want to do something with music or writing or animals. It's a really difficult decision. Maybe you have it figured out. What about my friends? I know that I can't live without them. How is it going for us? Is The V.I.E.W.S. still a thing? Do me, Whitney, and Evelyn still send hundreds of memes to each other? Do me and Shine still love art and reading? Do me and Whitney still ride together? Do me and Lexie still goof off and bake together? Do we all still skate together? I wish I could know how the future plays out for us. I'm really scared of losing my friends. How are things with the family? Right now my parents are kind of overbearing. They want me to live my life exactly the way that they've planned. That means go to college for a good paying job, get married to the perfect man, have kids so that they can have grandkids, become a perfect mom and do the stereotypical "the wife serves the husband, takes care of kids, cooks, and cleans" type of thing. Be a perfect Christian. Have no tattoos, no piercings, no hair dye. Minimal makeup. I'm NOT going to live like that. God, I can't live like that. When I get married I'm going to have an equal marriage. We'll BOTH cook and clean. We'll both take care of the kids. We'll both work. He won't demand me to get something for him or do something for him. By all means, if he ASKS me to do something than I'll do it for him, but that'll be a mutual thing. He won't be demanding me and I won't be demanding him. I hope you still have that mind set. It's important. I guess we're going off track again. Did ever go on that beach trip with my friends? My parents promised me we would be but I don't know if we will. Also, did I ever get to see Twenty One Pilots, NF, or The Maine in concert? Gosh I want to do that so bad. How much better at art am I? Do I still write? Do I still play guitar? How are my siblings? Are we still close/closer. At the moment, Joseph STAYS on my nerves. He's always so petty and selfish. He gets pretty much whatever he wants cause he's the 'baby' of the house. Both Joseph and Jake hardly ever have to do anything around the house. They sit on their ass and play video games all day. I on the other hand, have to clean the kitchen to perfection EVERYDAY. If I don't, I'm grounded. If I smart off, grounded. If I 'talk back', grounded. The boys get away with EVERYTHING. I swear, it doesn't matter what they do. Joseph thinks he has the right to do whatever he wants. He thinks he can just get whatever he wants whenever he wants it. He lies 24/7 and then calls me a liar when I call him out. I swear he lies about 99% of everything he does or says. Jake does the same thing just not as much. I hope they've grown up a bit. I hope we've gotten closer and don't argue as much. Anyway. I think that's about it. There's a lot going on right now and it stresses me out but hopefully things have turned for the better for you. You deserve it. You're perfect, beautiful, priceless, wonderful, stunning, gorgeous, too good for any guy, and most importantly, YOU ARE LOVED!!! Be everything you ever wanted to be, -16 year old Isabelle <3