A letter from June 3rd, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Hey, it's been rough. I want to cry, but I can't, I literally have no more tears, that's how much I cry. I want to come out to grandma and grandpa about being lesbian but, I cant, I'll get put down for it and made fun of. I dont know what to do anymore. I act like I'm happy, but I'm not. I put a smile on my face for everyone so i dont get asked how I'm doing. Not like anyone would care. I feel like ****, i feel like I'm doing everything wrong, i feel like grandma and grandpa talk about me behind my back. I'm really worried about Abagale, she got her CT scan today and I. . .wanted to cry, knowing that she might have a brain tumor, that she might need sugary but at the same time knowing that she's probably okay, that its probably just a faise. But nothing is in thos world. We're still in lock down, even though no one is sick. I feel like a theres a purge coming, that any crime will be legal, but I'm probably wrong, like always. I'm still watching anime {of course}. Me and Abagale haven't roleplayed in a while, but that's fine. Someone found moms old pictures and stuff she said she lost, theres some dark stuff though. About her father. . .but theres lots of baby picture's from when I was younger, like a lot. Hh, I feel so drained, depressed, and my anxiety is really high, I get triggered very easy. Terry said he "tried to **** himself" because he nipped his neck when he was shaving, I started shaking, remembering what I tried, and yet no one noticed, funny, this has happened a few times but I guess it's fine, as long as no one notices. Well goodbye, hope o didnt **** anything up. Bye. . . Website: fututme.org