A letter from May 13th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear future me, Hey girl! I just wanted to see what's up in the future. It's currently 2:24 pm and I'm sitting in the kitchen and writing this letter instead of doing my book project. I have so many questions to see what's going on! You are currently 15 at the moment and I know life is hard. Well present me is going insane during this quarantine. I've did some stupid things such as order a shit ton of online things and gave myself a tattoo of a triangle with a needle and some pen ink (how is it doing btw) I've made some hard changes such as dropping choir (which I loved so much) and added principle of human services. I didn't want to do it, but we got into cosmetology and we need those credits out of the way! How is that going btw? Do you still want to be a cosmetologist or did you change your mind for the millionth time? Come on girl make up your mind!! Now we are going to more of the personal questions like did you get your first kiss yet? I know embarrassing but I have to ask it's not like I'm kissing anyone during quarantine... Or what about boys are they any boys you like that aren't like 5 years older than you? Are you dating anyone? Do you still have those dreams about meeting the one? Do you still feel like you're not enough? Is your anxiety getting better or is it getting worst? Do you love yourself? Have you lost the weight or get a big booty lmao? (this letter is all over the place omg). Do you still talk to Alicia or did you drop another best friend? I hope you didn't because I really like her and she is like my sister who understands me and doesn't try to raise me. What about Makayla is everything good with her? I never want to drop her she's been with my selfish ass since forever. If you did slap yourself in the face because you are an idiot! Anyways if you are having a breakdown breathe! It's ok to talk to someone about your problems. Everything is going to be alright. I have faith in us and hopefully 2021 is a better year because well you know how 2020 was. Do we live in a RV park now? I don't want to I want to live in my house. Is Michael less like a dick and let's you do what you want? What about mom? Is she toxic still? Does she call you names or is she getting better? Do you still have a weirdly obsession over Ariana Grande? One more thing don't and I MEAN don't tear yourself down anymore or do stupid shit to get our parents to notice. Like calm tf down one day we'll hear the words, "I'm so proud of you." It may not be today, tomorrow, or next month, but one day we will. How is your writing going btw? Or did Michael ban you from writing like he banned you from everything else. I swear one of those days we are going to snap at him. Anyways I have to go girly mom is coming into the kitchen and I have a feeling that she going to complain about something like she always does. -Love yourself <3 PS: JUST BREATHE AND CONGRATS IF YOU HAD YOUR FIRST KISS ALREADY! OK I'M DONE EMBARRASSING YOU THIS GOING PUBLIC BTW SORRY NOT SORRY

Epilogue

over 1 year later

Dear 14 year old me,

WOW…OMG WOW

so i never responded to this until now. um it’s the last day of 2022 and now we’re 17 YEARS OLD! I know...

'ewre ew haahhaha yrev odl. Ni wwo os si hnmaesrf lcohos juts ltilet swa scaeueb utb yguno a ghih rcyza i hist. Iuosestqn teadins i my senarw bsmrlpoe wshi tllis tle hesto uroy mu were me utb.
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Aym! ’eewr to ewn ouyr yuo hes hctea hto eht to ctoranry it aertg atke y!ulctaal ahve uoy eyra eary ot we nad rohpsemoo ’dndit iongg ebla dna a si etst coestyloomg aagmnzi !ti erew and hpoing nwterit ubt si aebsuce fo olev oriunj etak fbl,eei we in it poprula etak inaurtenqa.
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Sohocl eb igong og cgnaeh nsreu did !lafl mnid ctluylaa hupoflyle in het ot ym a ogign to btu tiesm ree’w ot orf i !nwo rwee’ few a otmiescc ugnsrni.
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On thsi eht eldeen ottota alyuactl nus mbdu but waya rmoosphoe tihw but keew iemt a a dadfe uyo naiag anlke it but od ouy ot nik ti oetcehdru ywaa a tattoo nad ew an acuatl pu si a lol pen afetr idd nki eadf nad yver nalitrge aedi nekl,a it knaid tullayac ruo i,t rou ddceeid yrae ddi. Tarle ont akysne twb aws a it mmo vyre otmhn urey’o cb. Usmept stlea dan ilweh eht a a salo orf we swa ryea asy echitc dah otnojou…ri ot.
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Orhet sk,si irfst frtsi tirsf a,sepnihorlit …dana autbo of 6!1 ac’nt 2220 i lto ewnh lipsusnigryr we lkat fo uro tog ew lrlyae ftsir erew aheenppd utb olt a. It aery teh but ont frtiss asw veah hahahhaa ruo yma been byo yaer of.
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Lst’e yuorob…s thta stifr inlhpsierato tsju yob a adn ays atsw’n ihwt. Ont eth we rpirusigns i isircs amec eray teuiarnqan ucooscnnli a gttarhis tub nda htta mroosoehp konw newt ot nrued digrnu wee’r dna. Onkw tpar d’nitd yralle a lyasaw of i knew utlin neam em i nwo utb. Uelxai!bs we’er so.
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Ysa ryae gln indak aosl is lfes rcsbo-nea to 4ib-arnigv-n1gnne-tocnis odl eoh e’rew my azycr ot a knadi cihwh. Imrnoatc e’rwe isllt gbi hhaaahhhaa) pelessho a u(tb.
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Tub re’we edaetb ew yeonj era ate,inyx oxinsau it nda only so lleayr slse i kwon we sey now! uotab ilslt hte sti’ sxaoinu het lcuaytal btu imet fsa uryrsnspgili alalucty eernhvwe ayzrc ’rwee the ni.
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Letf ouy i orf ianpo one meas nthe yes to oknw ihwch( wnko loyn ouy uro rf ’its os ash rneifd rnouij swa wne we bets oucdl vhae th6 thta be lakt teh a y!all asdi sh’es a yoru i is tub and nad ttha istll lyal hibct btes yrou nda eikl llya ndefri esnic we who iserst !iesbet rdega, emsuaotl clonipta in d)sip,ut reeth si ciaial aery eenb but ndfrie. Sti’ ouy fro aiclia adn ayll li!!ef.
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Oru a kcudef ihtw rhe to ’inddt otinenm arsneo eild ew gknitla dsppteo ont ehr thsi aotub now erw’e ephsoomro and ,yameonr esh bcesuea su nad yera for si ltdo tath dna esh kmyaaal defnrsi smoe up i. In arli hse’s hwo no a eht ont rnefsdi eedrsevs acf,e ignalspp mfsyel im’. .
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Dogo oyu a time ergta ti utlin saw wsa 1220 gat!er but htna urojin :) dah eohtr arey ahtt eadhpnpe aelrly.
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Rye,a dtn’o sdlo yfiliolacf teh in evli this ukylc we ti i so ot but vmeo su ofr ohues tuiln uffts ew kepe uto dedcedi amtols dan a ta!lrrei.
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Ertiw were’ vonsle rypeot ewirt tbu i llo ta oyrnma,e ew e!ptyro etretb ew iunpsrsigr ctayalul ti olt dto’n uoy wnok aullyact heat a.
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Aryadel awtn i uabcouy…ees wkno aklt ot ealylr hleamci oubat otd’n.
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Oingd dha teicdcan eanm tol s’hes rlylae a dba tbu mean a hes omm sutj lsilt llo ttbe,re stlli lycltaau and ’hses alrlye si.
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Now oru is ,tslli ianara isfwt ragden evol we aotlyr wen but yclatula ooisssenb. Iucsm leov led sola ew ery yes tub lnaa oot.
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Fo solw onw tuferu h:sti gnaiys hinitgnk tle em lal sqesoutni tpos eht awreppd rednwsea up dna ttah obtau yrou dynig nwdo stih by i. Si ghrti oescduf you edne as no it eosylrfu sujt onw adn flei to. Sutj nad eb )laren clma to enver dnow rgytni we( spto esynka. Aery rpuablyt rijuon it was owkn, yrea, yera esbt shit i eray mehsafrn wost,r moreopsoh ruo nddee nrosie si aws dan hte. Dna ecut ubt imet asw 1,4 oyu uoy veael llaery ptsa ni was hewn ot the ’sti ohw yuo do nda i issm yryedaev i i i itkhn abodaelr nda uboat. Dna icosdevr us olat ’sti ihknt asw elhedp ma i ldwou iaqernntua i i ’dton ehdngca uihotwt enrqtunaai hwo i tbw shti aols us nsreop tub be. Mhoenitgs still ybrbaplo hte ssctleo be ni i’d lelh or.
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Msis yuo tub a ’sit eys i ewn tiem rtpecha btu rof.
Uyo rifvoeg i.
Me dol inebg uect 41 yaer epke.
Ni het vleo- rfutue ylfoeusr.

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