A letter from May 13th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear future me, Hey girl! I just wanted to see what's up in the future. It's currently 2:24 pm and I'm sitting in the kitchen and writing this letter instead of doing my book project. I have so many questions to see what's going on! You are currently 15 at the moment and I know life is hard. Well present me is going insane during this quarantine. I've did some stupid things such as order a shit ton of online things and gave myself a tattoo of a triangle with a needle and some pen ink (how is it doing btw) I've made some hard changes such as dropping choir (which I loved so much) and added principle of human services. I didn't want to do it, but we got into cosmetology and we need those credits out of the way! How is that going btw? Do you still want to be a cosmetologist or did you change your mind for the millionth time? Come on girl make up your mind!! Now we are going to more of the personal questions like did you get your first kiss yet? I know embarrassing but I have to ask it's not like I'm kissing anyone during quarantine... Or what about boys are they any boys you like that aren't like 5 years older than you? Are you dating anyone? Do you still have those dreams about meeting the one? Do you still feel like you're not enough? Is your anxiety getting better or is it getting worst? Do you love yourself? Have you lost the weight or get a big booty lmao? (this letter is all over the place omg). Do you still talk to Alicia or did you drop another best friend? I hope you didn't because I really like her and she is like my sister who understands me and doesn't try to raise me. What about Makayla is everything good with her? I never want to drop her she's been with my selfish ass since forever. If you did slap yourself in the face because you are an idiot! Anyways if you are having a breakdown breathe! It's ok to talk to someone about your problems. Everything is going to be alright. I have faith in us and hopefully 2021 is a better year because well you know how 2020 was. Do we live in a RV park now? I don't want to I want to live in my house. Is Michael less like a dick and let's you do what you want? What about mom? Is she toxic still? Does she call you names or is she getting better? Do you still have a weirdly obsession over Ariana Grande? One more thing don't and I MEAN don't tear yourself down anymore or do stupid shit to get our parents to notice. Like calm tf down one day we'll hear the words, "I'm so proud of you." It may not be today, tomorrow, or next month, but one day we will. How is your writing going btw? Or did Michael ban you from writing like he banned you from everything else. I swear one of those days we are going to snap at him. Anyways I have to go girly mom is coming into the kitchen and I have a feeling that she going to complain about something like she always does. -Love yourself <3 PS: JUST BREATHE AND CONGRATS IF YOU HAD YOUR FIRST KISS ALREADY! OK I'M DONE EMBARRASSING YOU THIS GOING PUBLIC BTW SORRY NOT SORRY

Epilogue

over 1 year later

Dear 14 year old me,

WOW…OMG WOW

so i never responded to this until now. um it’s the last day of 2022 and now we’re 17 YEARS OLD! I know...

Erw'e yver we odl haaahhah. I tusj cslhoo in gihh wsa ltteli so yzrac is aceeusb hsti eanhfmrs wow ubt a uynog. Me i tle aernsw tub mu sihw sltil uyor my aintsde melsbpro theos ssiontuqe rwee.
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Akte si we uoy uyor to a!cuylatl tcahe aeyr in esprohoom oevl ggnoi lbea gaert ’erew ew to iertwnt new amy! ubt ti ayer jinoru she bflei,e dna hto locoemtygos ntiqauanre ahve dna uorplpa ttes a seuebca is uyo t!i nitdd’ giamnza aket teak dan ot ryontrca it ohgpin ewre of het.
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Ot a ym hte rnnigsu inmd acegnh reew’ ltulacya i gonig on!w eb og nigog rfo idd ’rwee ubt miste uersn temcosci chloso ueyfpohll to in to fall! efw a.
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Psomorhoe it a epn but tbu al,ekn kni lgrnitea dan to otttoa an a ti kdian ddi bdmu whti ddi usn kin dadfe nad aaultc llo eeiddcd ubt od leakn ti rvye ototat uor yuo pu is aaing ayaw diea a eekw a ednlee on eht eary ctalualy hetodeucr atfer htsi ouy mite waay we yulaalct edaf our ,it. Otn wbt it a yeksan oey’ur rvey lerat mtonh omm was bc. Sya ut…oroijon a hiwel was rfo eutpms we citche aery also nda laest to adh the a.
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Tol ifsrt our hlniei,otrasp tlo hwne 2202 thore frsit piugiylrssrn i ubt tlka nda…a rwee ew tog ppndeahe a n’cat fo 1!6 layler ew irstf ksi,s of uaotb ifrts. Itrssf yare yaer otn of aws vahe hte ahahhaha yam it utb boy ruo bnee.
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Niitosrphela ftsir byo tsju oubrs…yo wt’nsa dan a yas atth slte’ itwh. Tnaernuiqa eht yrae oknw i tsgrhtia sclinoonuc rpinsursgi we otn htta eew’r nda emca duren ubt inrudg a to nda wten hoomsreop iirssc. Lntiu ubt own atpr fo i wekn ylaaws me kown a eanm tdidn’ lerayl i. Liubsexa! so ’weer.
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Crayz iaknd ri-on-naigvniecbsgn-14nt old ot ohe ays to lsao cwhih is lsef enasobcr- yrea a ym re’ew iknda gln. A )aaahhahhha eoesplhs iacmront igb lsilt ewer’ btu(.
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Runglssipiyr het ssle in aer w!on we er’we yes anxiuos it lalery atlalyuc zracy het ynlo i eimt tis’ stlli utb rew’e nda claaulty btu wokn the asf we tn,aieyx usxoain hervewne so joeyn btuao ebdtea.
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Ylno sit’ hte bse!iet drifen ’shse yll!a but emsa konw eys klei btes is ahs tath srtsie dan eno uoyr lyla si i a ouy fr eadg,r ktla elft ucdol tbse rof os a you feirdn wch(hi uro to saw taht woh ni and we sitll otsulmea dan nkow apnoi uory llya hvae adis ereth eb utb tehn nwe ticbh neeb ht6 riounj alaiic ew niatcplo yrae )tspuid, ecnsi i fdnrei. Alyl uoy f!lei! iailac ’sti dan fro.
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Adn i onw ehr erh edil to nntiemo and ooeosmhpr ehs taht ynoae,rm nto is oems tish pu yklamaa aceebsu ukcedf ’dintd tldo reay we obtau su ernaso ewe’r thiw erinfsd kaigtnl tpeosdp our for dna seh a. On rdessvee hses’ friedsn psipglna ef,ca ni ’im a rila het nto who elsymf. .
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Ti gdoo adh saw ): garte! egatr htta laeryl aery teim tbu yuo ednpehpa a tinlu 1022 hreto asw nujori tanh.
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Teh i os a in ti ultin eddcdie peke to stffu rfo o’dnt otu otmsal veil btu sith vmoe adn dslo osehu iyifaflcol we yra,e ukylc riltra!e us ew.
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Clylauta ew’re o’tdn ta riwte wkon we evonls etah ,oryname btu a i rp!tyeo you rsgriinspu iwrte oll clalauty tlo ti ebertt we prytoe.
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Wkno ntwa i erayadl ’tond atkl ceahiml eau…ouscyeb aubto ot lrayel.
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Ltsli nad a lol eman ’ehss eyrlal bad tbete,r had se’sh ubt hes tisll mmo laeryl anme a lto is ctaylual sjut cncdaeti odgni.
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Levo ew slti,l new tfwis ltulaayc oeoissnbs won oru is ariaan but adegrn raytol. Olev csimu olsa oto alna eld ew eyr sey but.
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Tops yb lal adn hatt insyga ewnrsaed pu i tsnqseoui tsih me dnow ueufrt yrou etl nwo wlos gidyn kgnhinti fo teh ubota wpeadpr thsi:. You iefl hrtig ot it euolsyrf si and dene juts dcfseou own on as. Caml eb dan en)alr down tusj nsyeak ryignt to vrnee we( tops. Noujir osnire yrea i eary si wokn, hsfraenm teh e,yar tylbapur sremohoop asw dna sw,otr was uro raey it ihts etbs dndee. Lrealy obaut dna wnhe eadorlab reyeydva wsa s’it mtei vleea to i knith oyu ni wsa od i hte i tecu how apts dan oyu dna you 4,1 i imss but. Unniaetraq hwo risvedco dan i tis’ tish nposre udolw ecaghdn us n’otd am pehedl qatnnrieau i aols i eb olat wtb itnkh saw su i utb hotuiwt. In or itnemshgo lhel eb lstecso di’ rpaobbly eht tllis.
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For but i eys enw a t’si ubt itme taecrhp sims uyo.
I ouy gfrevio.
41 ibnge ekpe em ucet dlo eyra.
V-elo freyusol teh ni uureft.

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