A letter from May 9th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, right now, i am laying in my bed, day 57 of quarantine and came across a tiktok that showed me this website. i didn’t know what to write about but i thought i’d let you know how you were feeling EXACTLY one year ago. i am sad and probably depressed. of course i have those good days where i’m in a good mood but it’s not the same. i’m not myself anymore. i would’ve never imagined my SENIOR YEAR ending like this. i worked so hard to get to where i am and now i can walk down the isle with the rest of my class in our caps and gowns. i already bought my prom dress and we don’t have a prom anymore and i can’t return my dress. i never really cared about going to prom that much until probably grade 11 and now that’s taken away from me. my grad trip is also cancelled. we were going to disney and we were actually supposed to be at animal kingdom today. i haven’t been able to hug my grandparents since aunt dorothy’s funeral. and i haven’t been able to hug my friends since march 13. it’s very boring. i feel like everyday is just a waste. i do the same thing everyday. wake up. get dressed. do school. eat food. go to bed. i barely sleep anymore and i feel like i’m not even eating anymore. mom says that people are saying i look tired and sad. i’m just so emotionally and mentally exhausted. everything that i’ve been working so hard for was ripped away in a matter of seconds. i cry at least once everyday and cry myself to sleep at least once a week. all i want in the world right now is to have my last summer with my friends before they all leave for university and forget about me. i’m really worried that they will forget about me, even though they said they won’t. i really hope it got better, quickly after this. and i really hope you got your last summer. if you haven’t already, kiss that boy. just frickin do it. if you’re 19, and still haven’t had your first kiss, that means you can legally drink before you kissed a boy, you loser. maybe get a boyfriend too. but maybe not since you’re going to uni in the fall. honestly don’t worry about boys, they all suck anyway. i hope you are working at a really good job right now making BANK and i hope you finally got a car. you definitely deserve it. i also hope you finally started going on runs and working out because i know that i really want to but i have no motivation right now. you’re perfect the way you are. i love you love, myself

Epilogue

1 day later

it is now day 423 of being in a lockdown/pandemic. i’m not as emotionally and mentally exhausted anymore. i don’t cry myself to sleep very often. i threw myself my...

Hwti my otg pomr i waer ersds won tllite my so ot iltsl rsidenf. Esuciptr adn yehgrntvei ktaen tog. Aspc anaorgiudt ni teakn my edfisrn to crtpeius dna sneci go ogt adgr wgsno rhteei oru to i nda aols te’nwre albe ew. Eselpeorv aknid ichhw had hvea nlgeis is olrisuiduc reay oen i a eovr ni. Vaeh tkal oubat all sad my dan ebmorpls i to who am a i dnuof thpaestir ot. Ot mfsyle bgnri bakc cna ebnig em mi’ seh hiognp. Dlrow uqite eht is irtgh own rcsay. Ekli tskae asrtt iomsve yiengtrevh of ionlrebel the reov a nda eepplo steho nngemortve neo het erhew taolsm st’i. Linbelreo injo i lwil atht fniyeeitld know ahtt lla si i. Utb okdwnloc ’mi off cetrrlyun dtihr onw a of i gelae dail orkw ta ascebue ecaairnm ymoretilapr. In rtpmseebe ggoni ot m’i gloeecl. Moer atuynlnoetufr enioln tahn illw ilkley be naaig. Iragypn liwl erya enwt’re msuemr ti to im’ tfris laeb rlobpbya to awya iths namyoer lakt th(ye eerfob swa be )inelon rnseidf ayctllua move nhte and rearyl my htta em odog aubeces. Hcoslo fi ma ot to i si eomv tath rcsdneeie im’ exeicdt ndierfs ewn ta otin huhg,ot mkae ebla. .
Ma dna ont i lol dieedn had mnae aveh irsft ubt sski ym i 91. . . . Ocvs’di tis’ fluat. Ugs,y eh godo it, ni teh hatts’ eedsternti utb ish nghgtosi ioozplage i i eeddn byus so enerv ofr i hte got dan eh teg hhcwi eustp nikad mreo em i utb eusgs a artetds meor nkaid laitnkg nikth ma ddi lowlys cbeaesu a ilef he to eh nkatilg godo ogdo ubota psdtpeo auatlylc chhiw jstu nad swa ot pu oyb em, i uyg. .
Reelytcn eth a pdtusi fo of omts ym rof sfrdien ewf sronesa solt i. Em dan ewre uldat rnwet’e at vrye tuabo grwon eth dna yeth 81 kntlgai etuedjmlang ety ofr ti dna dsia i i owh ni ni irnofcnotgn ouatb adn tahc erwe ewrevaht diceedd terspna ’im i eyht aws so ngrwo ym na swa ugpro nad seuaceb i atht oelwlad arc ecsalp atdlu yhte wsa htat i htem clairciotyph ortseh was ecsbuae ubt ot not asw and ndtoenofrc eshetvmesl an ethy htme het whlie imet ironngig ibngr ti ot hmet nda riteh nlyo. Secrw tmeh. R’ythee ixotc anaywy. Mteh uoshdl roem uoabt do a uldoc ont i lcivi i be btu asy natnyigh adn lot. Rwee ebkcdol gothhu mumieatr eyht( leov em and i tah)t so.
Itlls si so it llarye rntunicae nda flie csuks. Od aihtngny ’ctan ew. Laclecden lltis my si dagr irpt. Evre to nefdru hte ’ntow evig saw tyeh itrsf a tdpnpoeso ti su corss cat’n utohgh to tge ym adn we rbdore iyaphcsyll eenv rctnceo. .
I gusse it ’attsh waay,ny. .
.
Lv,eo ymlsef.

This user has written an update to this letter.To see what they wrote, please

Press ← and → on your keyboard to move between letters

Write new comment

Load more comments