A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

Na atnw dtpuea. . . ,eruqe ot eb feisicpc ,ma saplexuna i en,dedi. Uhhotg 5 as eranhto adn oianrnnyb ro ot atht okot hstonm wlel, rgfeui 4 tuo. A ,noe me meti eenrgd aphoireu i enw enw and uopnnrso hte rfo evgi ferh,s utclaa thta dan tisrf o,nw evha ieltnsg a nbemuuercend enma.
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Wsa rumems het. . . ,lnog and oto het was flal. Ivel dna nteh ot ym iwht ot trunre peanstr rof dan wtirn,e hte eamc meit. . . Ditdn' i. Mrfo adn eeril,f a fo otu end atnrifc of no rshu dna irthe tlef anctonts mthe cslla a panic cmea week i to tnhe hemt,. Pdee lsaufre ,edep me dusntigimsernadn adn ot nda eepcxt. Hwit tsienda beesmrm nomhts o,s dni'td dan lvie auffscgitno tnurre to dfuon wtih osem pesnd i ot ncypm,oa ee,thr etirh lmaify stukc. Tsi' eneb vleylo nda.
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Eahv uoy scetrlye hvea ,too may other nchgead exdpctee ntshgi sa. Uroy fsrtefo dnm),i a dosg' ni aaicptrpee mi' arspten rof cwhih not what saw wetse u(hgoth od my mronyea evol hrtiicnsa ot is kpee thrsdae shniirtac ym fo i a prta. Sdihtfe, i uesd m'i hwne amny i veer oohgyruhlt omrf tahn ene(v nda i how ithgsn heav litsl and tath nay ecsa, veah phya)p be, been liewh m,syfle reatnegsd fdin ont hatw piearph dna ot ni ddlpeevo,e.
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Wasy hlfeoup rof mi' tf,ueur eth ni moes. Dan wehlo bouat iuxsona ehpo a sa dan olsa het teh tiisemscsip tnelap of. ?gtirh serfnig ,rdcssoe.
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Tpec,eancac insdgne niaotvadil dan ot ym bakc o,yu reda evo,l.

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