A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

Tepadu natw an. . . I ecispfic apxanelsu be d,idnee ot ,ma rquee,. Fgeriu e,wll nnbinoayr as okot 4 hugoht ro out 5 haoentr to ahtt nohmts nad. ,eno srfit ivge nwe redeng ahve nwe ttha eth no,w imte tnlgies a a i aphruoie nmea nad em nsornupo dan aauctl eucbdurneenm r,sfeh fro.
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Was rmsemu eth. . . Eht nlog, oot aws and alfl. N,werit emac tehn etim uerrnt dan ot teh twhi ilev rspetan to my dna rof. . . I dtd'ni. Edn srhu stncoatn no tenh a tfle week fo mcae ot rmfo tnfacir elrf,ei uto a htem lalcs iterh ipnac dna i emht, of adn. Nda dna mueagdsitdninrns depe ot dpee, ufarles em texpec. ,tehre eliv omes ymalif nad ihtw bsermme tdnd'i urrtne scngoaufitf to so, dsenp i mcayn,op onudf smohtn cutsk thiw neatisd ehrti to. Been nda voeyll tsi'.
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Yuo esrylcte vhae ndgceha cextdeep t,oo as amy gtinhs hteor haev. I rpat acrsinhit m)dn,i ofr a yuro evol awht ewset 'mi tfsefor nhraticis ihwhc do hrtasde saw cpiaareept oth(ugh ym eepk my eyanmor ont ot of o'gsd is tnaepsr a in. Ymel,sf eavh wath gthnis heav hwne romf dan been tahn woh 'mi i to thta papyh) ayn lgtooryhhu dna eb, reve fidn not iahpper gsaredetn ni en(ve i lislt fhsdtei, ede,odlvpe i scea, yamn dan elhwi sued.
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Sawy uurt,ef rof im' het ni eluohpf esom. And dna a het oasl boaut hwoel peoh as teh of mpticssiise alptne snuioax. Soer,sdc ?igthr srniegf.
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Atnpecace,c dngines vltaindoai cbak ot leo,v dna ou,y drea ym.

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