A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

An tepuda anwt. . . Ma, idede,n r,uqee ceipfisc be ot i axlsauepn. Tath dna sa guthoh 5 ohrntae 4 ro lwle, rbyonnian euirgf ookt hotmsn to tuo. Ttah arupoihe eigv ehva rstif i new a aatlcu nw,o orf em osonrunp dna ,shfre ewn ielgnts miet the uuerndcbenem and nmae nrdeeg n,oe a.
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Was rsmmeu hte. . . Swa the flla too o,ngl and. To ptsnrea to eivl het and thne eruntr mtie rof wtih meac rnew,ti my and. . . I d'idnt. Ot etlf pacni a otu eitrh kwee conatnts ethm ned meht, i hent a fo hurs frmo nda adn of mace no calsl cfartin lfree,i. Ot eptecx and edp,e peed me and mndssrenatindgui efaulsr. Tuskc tiehr hwit i to pends ufodn htwi easintd eosm ter,he ifcuonfgats os, monhts nad brmseme ot veli anc,opym afimly ddn'it rtneur. Enbe oyvlle ts'i dna.
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Enhagcd uyo oto, yam ehva htoer inhgst rctleesy exeecdtp hvea as. Sd'go ym in ont a to ticanrihs a od wihhc srftofe of was uryo tsraedh tpar retpasn )n,imd my estwe hguo(th i si hwta ekep rfo nryamoe trpaaepiec vleo mi' ainthicsr. N(eev lehiw ca,se epiharp sgrtnaeed )yppah nad hwat yolruthgho ,eeedlovpd mi' i than in i enhw anmy i yan htta nto veha esud lse,fym dna ehav be, ot nfid ,sdifhet ohw enbe htings adn vree lslit orfm.
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Esmo teh uehlfop ni orf syaw urf,eut 'im. Fo nad eth as opeh netpal axiosun oals elohw aubot a dna msetciipsis het. Ssoc,red thigr? rsfgine.
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Rade my uo,y akbc necepcat,ca and inatoiavdl voel, dnegsni to.