A letter from April 14th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, aye man, its kinda difficult right now yunno. i want to know where you are right now, i was jus talking about future me. coronavirus is currently occuring which is scary and i am still sick. it is april and i got sick in january. march has been a ****** *** month, i lost basketball finals by one point and were undeafeated all season but it was a season to remember. i miss my coach, he was the nicest human to both me and grace. he would make funny *** comments that would make me and grace laugh such as; lets go to the north side game, dodge a few bullets and take that W. once when this girl dodged my hand shake at the end of the semi finals, i paused and looked back and my coach jus said leave it holly its ok. the context was so funny tho lmao also this one time where he let me and grace take his debit card to mcdonalds and get food, wow good times. but march was very hard for me, i was told i wasnt loved by someone i loved dearly and it was hard to hear and accept because we had good memories together and i trusted him a lot. he broke up with me and ive never been so hurt by another person other than my family members that badly. i truely wonder where we are going to be in 3 years. my thoughts are that he wont even talk to me and that he moved onto bigger and better things. im done with boys tho but its hard for me to accept that it was his decison. i would have loved to have a future with him because ive never seen a future with someone so bright. right now im torn between getting him a gift or just leaving it for his birthday and not even posting him but i fear it will hurt his feelings. we havent talked in a long while and i wanna talk to him in person but im afraid he doesnt want to listen. 3 years is so far yet so close, i will have been two years graduated and i wonder what fields you will go into but as of right now i have no idea and that also scares me so much, i cry about it sometimes because i want to be successful i jus dont know how to approach that. i hope that you set your standards high for the next person you decide to let love you. making sure they even understand that completely. i really miss him, ecery day, hes the first thing i think about waking up and going to sleep. and i dont know if he is sad. i want to know whta he thinks and how he feels about everything, i wanna know if he regrets breaking up with me and saying **** he shouldnt have said, but again if he did then he would say that. i feel like he will move on really quickly and im not ready for that. but anyways like was suppose to be a message to future me LMAOOOOO i jus hope you have a flucking job and can drive lol and you have travelled a bit like youve always wanted. build as many relationships with people as you can. and just be your goofy loving self as much as possible. and take as many risks as you can maneeeeeeee. i wonder what youre gonna be up to so bad like i wanna know. ohhh also wait till marriage, any guy that loves you truely will wait. but yeah deuces you 19 year old stud *winkes*. forget relationships they just bring trouble bruv innit ...... hehe. i wonder how the corona stuff works out right now because im currently out of school so i wonder how thats gonna workout in da future. anywayss good luck kid and get a good education. be smart, be open(not ******** tho) dfkmmmmmm. theres so much to write but im forgetting, ouu mom bought pizza today. maybe ill jus attatch it to another letter. anyways bye lmao. be strong like mama.