A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Nac xelar ,2201 you.
Tastrde iżimr lultacya i dveom ew a,oyenrm uor llgcoe,e eth 'otdn eaptnrs l̇intuabs ielv in ot cesaueb aeyr. .
Eht oso,o yılızd ,ignht uyo e'sehr ot nketki ogt ni. Hte ishtgn enev not ot uyo ti ulwod utb ngeiaim ni saw pnaphe. . . . Iyutdsng sugglaane ni ue'roy erhet. Rdneael yuo nwok nda uyo h?twa frhcen.
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Siht ruoy imsle iogng cafe u'dcnotl teh domr ihtw rpom eryuo' uyo on iwetr but in omro rmfo sad fcenra og rouy to ot a.
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As eyuo'r ni het of ton otcacnt vaobe hiknt yan as ensma qnfreuet hwti ouy. Uoy tlos noe neve of mteh. Uedsegs hrtig ttah ):.
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Renfac 'dnuoclt to tgo uyo irdamr,e uoy het sbc og weer yeran in eddinwg.
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Lapec nui ot she i̇call a sha si sleco inf,e. Of eb htwi derinf eth fo oyu c'oudntl nui htat the orshet reteh etmh otw got ehca ayd hte ouy tseb you same guess eosm niot 'tlwuod btu.
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Oodg ekçnög si. Ni suhoe seh ntedre a mulağ. Hes eerth ithw dsetuis kttuu. But tey hmi ror,ys teem 'didnt uyo. Ubt cloes dya oesm.
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In aaibr iṙzim itedsus. But ni rafet 'uorey to yuo veale inaag uoy tgo hre ctocnat miiṙz ese nudlo'ct.
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Yacullta llwi euasd ees uyo ayd neo. Blwo i a atcf nmid lwli ryuo sith egnib tbe. Nigmco i kwon ese ethes you tn'idd.
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Yuo erew oyu be owkn dais whne dna ikgltan i it ubistȧln lcod igmht ouabt. Lcaep beeleiv tdnt'id utb aedl atht su and i ayn asid rhee m,ean cyiilfsplace ouy. Teh cernfa ozer na orhertnn ruden nfierzge teheraw thwi to. Humc ot ncreaf ni so ocld ebecusa eb nad iencr ?f??wt? ni tsi'.
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Ruggssetl eppnah. Yteh het ltsa ysera pdanphee in 5. Amyn oot hda kewbsaondr ouy hwti roedkw eldftri ynma ,hadr nyam utb opeelp. Nwte rtieeh irdec nda uoy fo btu speaitr ot olts tosl uyo. Tseb gto eon you pleepo ryuotcn nldotcu' fnserid to tuo oruy aemd tbu tihw atrnoeh of ismotese,m fo os laso odvem you uyo das bed. Even ina?ga uyo kwno tey athw rhe adn 'dton you wnok. Ihst e,srdma in oury ?hrigt in not si eevn.
Obuat to'dn twroh crnyuto gogni abcuees hnkit wnok yuo a trosuti enve uoy it heatrno i ot sa notd'. .
Rthwo si, eth you htnig it. Oyu lyuo'l ovle hant 'otnd evne rwyor fyueorsl eorm ,thkin. .
Ptssianiod itddtn' 8led-l-ays-oefr uoy kile yrou uoy bvlideee. .
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Eirdt uly,pilbc eyvr athed you it suges yuo hss,iu i. Trfae teh atht uoy earn osdacd'mnl caubees hte ot wnte opsh ihsus. .
A as lil' htkic as noos fraet i eamk mseo nwso put ,you ealr nca sholtce aegnl i no ofr. Lsel enisc hte twhi i i don't egoln,co it heer liuaorvlynt laso nca sillt me htye hutrobg >(: cseueba erhe it smell.
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Nda stlal,y 19 aws odog. Wne nridefs 8 ta 91 yuo daem. Ouy ddi htye on pehdel oto else one leik. 23 coesl ,own si 22 ueroy'. To abuot tlils fd,rnsei fyuoeslr tlsil iknmga dan 'uroey rty eifl esecsllu rouye' wne oipemvr. Uyo'll rvee btu ts'hta ese 'oyuev mtos chmu reyv eullispab gtnih ,flet eht.

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