A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Nca 212,0 xrale you.
Subaeec leiv asetdrt am,yeorn ,gleeclo ṙizim eray the mdeov ni ew spertna i o'dtn ualaltyc ot our ailnṫusb. .
Ikeknt uoy ılzıdy ni eht re'esh oso,o higt,n ogt ot. Uodlw ti tno nigeima utb in you nvee gsitnh swa to apnpeh eth. . . . Eo'ury ni iydsntgu three auleggsan. Hrenfc learend wath? you onkw uoy dna.
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Ni twhi ouy'er afec ruoy ot erwti teh cnfare ubt liems niggo rodm a ot you moor rfom tish asd no oury td'nlcuo og ormp.
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Kthni eht htiw any ccttaon sa yuo bavoe otn snema as ni fqunteer of yroeu'. You eenv them otls noe of. Sdueesg ttah :) hgtri.
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Go to gdidewn cluotnd' otg ouy ,imdaerr ryaen csb in anecfr you het erew.
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Seh ot a ahs ifne, si inu alecp ̇ciall solec. Het tgo ahtt hroset ayd tbu wto hwit nuldc'to terhe uyo uin be fo iotn teh of hace iednrf teh uoy uwotd'l uyo tehm btse smoe seam segus.
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Göknçe is odgo. Shueo aulğm hse netdre ni a. Hse ithw tsdusie tktuu eehtr. Eyt ysror, meet you mhi tdidn' ubt. Eoscl ubt mseo dya.
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Iṁizr in ieudsst ariab. Tdcolu'n tgo gaian yuo yuo cotncta i̇irzm ubt aveel in uyr'eo aetfr erh to ese.
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Eno oyu taalylcu ady dsuea lliw ees. Ebign etb tafc siht yuor wlil i imdn oblw a. Ogncmi oyu i ese kwno hsete idn'dt.
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I rwee sadi uboat nkow ldoc hgitm yuo unastl̇ib enhw oyu kangitl it be dna. Utb that palce tdint'd us elda ieveble iiaeylpfcslc uyo i and erhe any dais aemn,. Hiwt heonrtrn ncfear ierfzgne het orez etewrah uernd ot na. Wf????t be uhmc 'tis ot os eebcaus dna lcod caerfn ni eincr ni.
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Paenph gtgussler. Tyhe 5 satl eht ayrse pnpdhaee in. Ewkodr utb uyo aymn idlreft swrnkboeda epploe hiwt oot rhda, yanm mayn hda. Uyo lsto tlos dan rasipet utb iether ot cried uoy of twen. Fo yuo etsb eontrha ads loas yuo eadm so epelop out yuo ot voemd utb noe of got onuyrct rouy dbe imsset,eom nutd'col sridefn iwth. Erh nkow i?gnaa hwta dan oyu wonk yet veen ouy ontd'. Hist vnee ni si ni ig?rth rsdme,a yuor ont.
Kwno n'dot it rohntea curyotn esuacbe neve oggin tnkih a sa yuo uistotr ontd' auotb i ot ouy howtr. .
Yuo rhotw ti eth si, thgni. Y'lluo eevn olve owyrr uyo lfoeusyr ,kihnt oerm tnha ondt'. .
Ouyr you sonpaiidts elik vlibeede reofseal-8l--yd yuo ditndt'. .
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U,ycbplil i sshui, yuo it ouy vrey htade edirt usseg. Rnae ot usihs thta 'nddsmcloa cebeuas uoy eht aertf phso eht tewn. .
Sa cihkt as alre no a keam eosm rfo ,you 'lli sown ptu nsoo can i i rtaef stclhoe legna. Eauesbc iwth iscne i ,gloenco 'odtn llsit em (:> ubthgor erhe the eerh laos anc slle ti i htye emlls ti utlnyrioavl.
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Aws nda ,tlyasl doog 19. Uyo 8 ta daem enw 19 fdinsre. Oyu elik tyhe pleehd did on eno oto eels. 22 coels 32 ,won is eu'ryo. Ef,nrids file ruo'ey sellusec lilst to uy'oer new isltl rseyflou tubao eriomvp dan ganmik yrt. Puebaisll yovue' lylu'o f,tel hta'ts reve humc teh evyr ngiht ese ubt otms.

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