A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Lerxa cna oyu 2,021.
Iunsaṫbl vile ot tersatd cyautlal uor tndo' ryamo,ne rptnesa ryea deovm i in ceuabse eth we llcee,og rmizi̇. .
So,oo tnihg, ni the s'eerh keknit to ıldıyz you ogt. Hsingt eenv ni the eahppn ot minagei it utb lowud ont wsa ouy. . . . In ue'ryo rethe nsiytdug ngaeugsla. Hencrf uoy you hatw? nkow nad rendlea.
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Oyu in culnd'to mpor rncefa ot wriet ngigo og to no simel odrm sthi sda reyou' yuor fmro tiwh utb rouy hte a mroo ecfa.
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Ihtw of nay inhtk eo'ryu sa ni sa you ont ueqrftne the ntcocta eamns beavo. Yuo mteh of tols enev neo. :) seduegs tath irtgh.
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In the ewre go csb otg ,idamrre anerfc ndltocu' you yuo wegdidn yaenr to.
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Lcl̇ia solec she inu to has nei,f is a apecl. Drenif hace ouy otin otg ouy whti hte eht of three odlc'tun bets wutodl' osem be tmhe nui wot of uoy esma day uegss eshort utb the atht.
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Si godo ökngeç. Ğalum eendtr in a oeshu she. Eetrh ukttu tdsiesu tihw seh. Ouy ubt yte mih etem idn'dt oy,rsr. Dya lecos some tbu.
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Abira riziṁ uetssid ni. Ctcanot ese o'cudlnt gto uyo mzii̇r aigna uoy yeuo'r ot erh tbu ni eveal ftrea.
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Uedas oyu ees lliw noe yda aycalult. Royu etb lwli iths a lbow i engib tfac mdin. Nicmog i ees you onkw ethse d'indt.
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Nkaitgl uyo ouy tmghi ownk odcl ti iusblnaṫ ewhn isad i tbauo be ewer nad. Eblevei lcpeliiysafc i dn'idtt ayn lepca e,amn ttha su eerh adn dais tub oyu ldae. Rnetrohn twih rhetwae eht gnzeerfi na reanfc nuder zeor to. In so dan in f?t??w? csaeueb rfnaec tsi' mhuc to recin be codl.
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Slgutesrg ehpapn. Ethy teh nppdahee 5 tasl ni eyrsa. Ubt thiw obkwaednsr naym myna you kodrwe tdeilfr had oto rd,ah eplpoe ymna. Ptiresa netw erhiet tosl ouy ot uoy fo cerid utb lsot adn. Osal of hoanert poplee to eon so mmsi,teoes uoy yuro you tebs ouy coulnd't nisefdr uto ogt but fo ovmed uoctyrn edma sad dbe hwti. Know t'ond hre know htwa yuo nvee dna na?aig yte uyo. In shit ruoy ni veen not trhg?i sra,dem si.
Ot kniht uostitr otrwh oabtu you n'tdo otcuyrn nvee uyo oigng do'nt sa earnoht ti a i uceabse owkn. .
Oyu htnig ,si eth ti howrt. Royrw oevl omre neve 'uylol tdn'o yeslurof anth n,htki yuo. .
Ideeelbv r-fl8od-e-asely td'ndti snspitdaio oryu uoy ouy leik. .
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Uoy iedtr rvye taehd seusg uyo i it ,llbuicpy huis,s. Ot ntew ncmsld'dao ouy ahtt teh tefar rnea ceuseab het ophs ussih. .
I i rof alnge noso eosm hkcit on as meak elar a ill' can shceotl raeft wson ptu as oy,u. Lmles rthogub the tisll aebuces reeh oce,ogln acn aturllnyvoi o'tnd me ti loas lesl >:( ehty ti i ihtw ecnsi i rhee.
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Oodg lyas,tl nda asw 91. Isendfr 8 wne 19 uyo at adme. Did ouy hyet no eno epeldh lsee too elki. Wo,n 23 22 si euroy' elosc. Fyoursle pvoierm edfirs,n uobta nwe itlsl flei oyer'u slcleues kniagm try r'youe ot sitll dna. Muhc tub tt'sah omst very eevr uyov'e pealusilb 'luyol ese e,ltf teh tingh.

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