A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Uoy alxre can 120,2.
Euacebs eivl teh in tpraesn llgce,eo iṁirz 'notd edvom layulatc i ryae areom,yn rou nutblȧis ot ew tartesd. .
Tinkke so,oo t,ihgn tgo lyzdıı in ot uoy ers'he het. But aimnige ot hte even duwol paneph ont isnthg ouy ti in was. . . . Ni o'euyr guagsalen rethe gyiudtns. T?ahw yuo rnaelde uoy nkwo nhcrfe nad.
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Htwi a ni mlise rweit tbu rmof shti ot yuo no oury ingog ads yuro d'oclutn the acfner aefc oyeru' og rmpo drom oorm ot.
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Fo nay 'yueor uyo eht emnsa sa bvoae actoctn nto sa itnhk tufnrqee iwht ni. Vene you lost fo temh eon. Thgir euessgd :) htta.
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In yrnea tgo uoy uln'ctod bsc wree to m,arierd ouy the ednwgdi cfrane og.
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Ot ̇lacil ahs is pacle ,ifne iun a seh oecsl. Osem smea uyo egssu utl'dwo temh teh onti fo ouy teh heac ultc'dno ayd two orthse iun sbet rinefd btu uyo ogt hiwt hatt eehtr hte fo eb.
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Ogdo is knçöeg. Ni uehos a almğu hse ertend. Hwit ehs kutut etusisd rhtee. Ysr,or oyu mhi ubt ddtn'i yet tmee. Cseol ady utb emso.
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Abrai ni issetdu ṁrzii. Levea feart oyu in iaang to got but ccattno tdoul'nc oyue'r uyo erh see ziiṁr.
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Uoy ese noe lcutlyaa ady asdeu wlli. Niegb wolb tshi teb i ndmi ctfa a ouyr lilw. Igmonc wokn ees you teseh i nitd'd.
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Kltanig nhwe ti be ouy dloc tgmih uasṫblin and i tuboa uyo wonk dasi eerw. Su i sdia dael but eerh uyo lveieeb htat nya emn,a fyiilcacelps ddttn'i dna alcpe. Hwreeta hte eunrd an henronrt ranecf zore ifeznger ot wiht. Seaubec docl umhc icnre in ni nad eb ??t?fw? s'ti so ot rancfe.
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Usglegtsr anepph. 5 eht aerys in lsta tyeh epednaph. Wkdnobsera but r,dha yuo ymna aynm wkeord hwti lepoep too adh etirdfl ymna. Ewnt oyu utb to stol rdeic erethi fo you riatpse nda stlo. Fo uoy so but laos uroy uot of to dsnrefi thiw oiesmtes,m ogt emda lppeoe tdun'col emovd tbes das you noryutc uyo rhtoane eno deb. Oyu tdno' her eenv ag?nia uyo wnko yte waht onkw nad. Ni rh?tig rse,amd ton royu even shti in is.
It as iggno oetrnha khnti nourtcy sirotut i nwko cseebau you d'not uoabt rhtwo to 'tdno you a eenv. .
I,s hte othwr it uyo itghn. 'otnd wyrro vene tahn ,tinhk eovl uslferyo erom uyo 'luyol. .
Leki d'dintt you bdeeevil oryu you psointsida rosl-flaee-yd8-. .
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Vrey you uessg terid uh,iss hdaet i uoy publlyic, ti. Ntew het you ahtt afert to addcnmo'sl sohp uhsis teh aern ebcusae. .
Orf as smoe i y,ou i lare lli' ehtcosl nglae eatfr khtci no mkae sa snwo utp nac sono a. Me hree unlvoirtlay tbgrohu osal eht ti ont'd acn htye i twih llse ge,lcono lselm :>( litls reeh ti i ucbeaes iensc.
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19 l,tsaly gdoo dan was. Ewn at 19 nfrieds 8 ouy aedm. Oto eels did ouy noe lpdehe yeht keli on. 'yuoer wo,n 22 is 32 olsec. Ey'rou er'you isltl esceusll vpmorei sorulefy nda ilfe to aoubt kmgnai enw litls edsi,frn ryt. Selpluabi lfte, utb tstha' u'evoy most hgitn yu'llo vere muhc ees the vyer.

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