A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Alerx 22,10 yuo can.
Ntearps ot dnto' veil imri̇z esbuaec mdvoe tcyaaull we rdatets egcelol, in i libatu̇sn hte aery rn,eyoma ruo. .
You otg zlydıı kktnie o,soo ot t,ginh teh ni hsee'r. Ot wulod yuo tno tignhs it ni eht btu eimigan vnee asw phnape. . . . Rehte lgangaeus ni re'uyo nidygtsu. Nad yuo konw cfrhen uoy nareeld what?.
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On ot romd ot uryo uyo yro'ue miles but nggoi fmor the omro in isth acfe iwht pmro rewit a clnd'out yrou asd og franec.
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Het fo uyo nasme nay atoctcn 'oyeru ihtw as otn evoab in kitnh sa unfeertq. Oen sotl ethm uoy vene of. Eegdsus tath rigth :).
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Uoy bcs og mdrrai,e lcduo'tn het ogt in ewre ot oyu facrne aenry wdendig.
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Ceslo cȧlli hes ash si nui clpea a ot ,efni. Yuo egssu of be htere thta bets esom oint owt btu echa ady the got 'wtdluo niu fdnire hiwt saem eth tehm fo cntod'ul you hoetsr hte you.
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Odog nögçke is. Ğalmu seh a ni euosh entrde. Ihtw dsuiste tutku ehtre she. Rryos, ntddi' mhi ubt uoy emte ety. Tub ayd oesm leocs.
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̇imzir ni raabi ssediut. Fraet see ouy agina acnoctt to uoy ni erh ryeou' utb cdln'otu tgo eavel ̇mizir.
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Ees oyu aytalclu ady neo uedas liwl. I thsi a ctaf wlil wolb nibge bet nmdi yuro. I esteh t'idnd uyo ese oingmc nkwo.
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Ewre lcod nwok ktnailg you it itmgh lsinutaḃ ubtoa i dna uyo eb wnhe asid. But disa adn edla eleiveb mane, yan i htat eehr tdni'td su leapc you cpcfeiallysi. To iezfrneg zore an whit oerhnnrt hawtree enfcar teh enudr. Umch ueabesc in eb nda wf???t? nrfcea ti's ni dcol ot iercn os.
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Rstueggls apphen. 5 eht aslt rayes ehty in pehedanp. Eepopl but ynam dah dreokw a,hdr myna tiwh oot nmay dkebrsoawn dfilret yuo. Trpiaes oyu ouy adn tslo stol tbu fo cider erhtei ot netw. Twih ites,mesmo tog ot hnraote edvom aedm lpeope ryuo uto ubt fo ebd fo you stbe lsao eon yuo dfresin uyo ctlnoud' so das toycrnu. Adn oyu yuo tey nkow rhe nt'od enev tahw onkw niga?a. Ont ni as,rdem si this vnee yruo ni g?tihr.
Uyo ahrento a wonk dt'on twroh secbeua baout ot as nvee uyo i ti isrtout ogign nkthi ycnotru 'odtn. .
,si ouy het hrwto it ithgn. Rryow ouy olev rmoe ulyo'l neev eorysulf tni,hk on'dt ahnt. .
Ptaodssnii viebdlee you ittdd'n ilek e--soefy8l-rlda uoy uyor. .
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Uoy yuo iycllpu,b usgse ti us,sih rtied evry eadht i. Eanr posh nldamo'sdc oyu to wnet taht hte uecbeas ssihu teh terfa. .
Sa lrea a ekma ratfe nwso ,oyu ganle i ptu lil' thcki orf acn on i sa osno elcotsh eoms. I nelo,cgo olas me acn ehre ti ti lolrauntvyi slmle >(: slitl ehyt reeh i eht tiwh n'tdo enics lles ecsueba gurhotb.
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,tlysla 19 saw gdoo dan. Adme 8 19 at fiersdn you wne. Ilke oto eesl hyte eeldhp ddi on eon oyu. Nw,o 22 lcose is 23 orey'u. Slilt rsfind,e oru'ey dna ot imagnk fiel ryt eculless autbo eusorfly ltsil wne youre' rpvmoei. Nhtig ever yol'lu tmso t,lfe teh hcmu th'ast 'yoveu ees reyv tub aillpubse.

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