A letter from December 2nd, 2019

Dear FutureMe, This is my second letter I’m writing to see on another day. I’m in senior year at Salem High School. My current best friend is Oliver Fraser and I literally just went through a breakup with Nick Donovan a week ago. It’s all my fault so I have to live with it. In the first letter I wrote I was sad about Kia and I told myself I hoped I was with someone that loved me and **** my life because he did love me. I miss him but I have too much going on in my head to be with him right now. He will forever be the one that got away. I hate myself for being so stupid and letting him go. I will regret that. Well at this point in my life I’m having a hard time with myself. I’m remembering a lot about my childhood. Like I remembered how one time my mom asked me if Kenzie was touching me inappropriately and she never did a thing about it. My mom knew about the rapes and was too ****** up on drugs to let it even phase her. The rapes are ******* me up right now. I feel so disgusting to have let my stepsister do those things to me. I wish I could take it all out of me but I feel it on my skin still. I’m disgusting and I’d rather peel my skin off than remember the feeling. I hate her so much. My mother is a piece of ****. I remember all the things she did now and I see them for what they really are. I remember when my childhood best friend saw my mom doing drugs and Alyssa told her dad and my mom said it was a lie and made it so I couldn’t see her for awhile. It was stupid and I wish my mother would have put me before the drugs. I want all the pain to go away but part of me believes it never will. I hope I’ll be okay by the time I get this letter. Maybe I’ll be in Africa or at UNH Durham. I probably won’t be because I am a piece of ****, but maybe I can make it. Good luck dip ****.