A letter from November 24th, 2019

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, are you happy? I am writing you this because now (that means: a year ago) you were. From the bottom of your hart. You just came back from Nepal, experiencing an exhausting and breathtaking adventure, returning to "normality" with wife 'n kids 'n cats 'n stuff. You've realized quickly: that's what you really love! Your wedding is 6 months ago, you've seen a relationship develop further, you've seen a 9-year-old and a 13-year-old growing in size and personality. You are fully accepted in your new roles as a stepfather and as a husband. And as a cat's litterbox cleaner, of course. Yet you have issues finding your place in the new family setting. At least it feels like that. A bit shaky. But you are at "your place". Right where you stand/sit/lie... You are NOT in question. You are NOT under scrutiny. Nobody will sort you out, dismiss you, drop you. You're loved. So: relax. Chill. Take a deep breath. Or two. Or three... You are where you want to be. Love Your past self

Epilogue

over 1 year later

Looking back in anger...
One year later life had hit me in a really hard way...
Covid-19 hit the dancefloor, I was on short-term work, meaning: no work at...

Lla. Inem tno mnoyaer dybdu wsa hletha fo a.
Ithng the ntair, wsa 2 icks, eexpssr peisn ylug of hda ekesw iskc twhi htciy isnk uesmlsc the a aheytrp 8sgk keswe, ogt to nthsmo strtnghe i eikl uebt meutu(,)oniam ivagenl my 4x an was yobd old ksin, hifgt hte i'ev ofr in ni dcol eth desi ielk hbat weatr setnp seecf,ft nsoigl ym het eknc.
Hte my nlyo vldoe neso hntgi w:orked hatt. . . .
Tehy ihhg ym on illw pu ot petk a ersvvui velel.
Wife bets ever. Ifaluetub rea iggrwno pu sidk a ni wya.
Ni a ihntg lsilt 0222 dvioc of usemrm is het.
Si utb ewn rpes brnki a fo pmutr no ogne niccyadad het sa a.
Lla ehhiasdst srpes,rgo rvoe iwiwi paelc the ntkgai si rpowe ni.
Taiclem ysear telf anlif eghacn till 7.
Ni mnahu veor idpeor ebst tsoriyh is.
We eth i het listl oyntlji omsce uhstibll ustff illw atht neeeipcerx lal onwgr od orfm enev.
Bad tmonfonriai orekfrwi of si wsen a. Vlasa aniukri.
Ym to ,scik si ym eedssreosrvt erac nda tkea ddea btorreh hmet ear fo igtyrn etsprna. Leph mhcu i tnac'. Eth sisseu vnihag ihtw ngsul esusior etdphoiaszil.
Lal trofns it on is gtinteg ton tberet.
Dvole snoe btu my. . . Isagdtnn ornsgt tlsil.
Nlucyrtre inbeg edhuragt uoygn wnopurg- a ayld, ot zn a mbaeec obmeec lfeeam ggsuoroe my in.
Gheadcn nda ibomceng remo oemr syscslulucfe my rteeange a nso si dna loohcs ntnfcdeoi. . . .
And my efiw. . . Lfeaem dan e!ver tlcoleinoc fo bste.
Hcum ehr leov os. Dna oonm ngaai & ckba ethn - teh 2.

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