A letter from November 24th, 2019

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, are you happy? I am writing you this because now (that means: a year ago) you were. From the bottom of your hart. You just came back from Nepal, experiencing an exhausting and breathtaking adventure, returning to "normality" with wife 'n kids 'n cats 'n stuff. You've realized quickly: that's what you really love! Your wedding is 6 months ago, you've seen a relationship develop further, you've seen a 9-year-old and a 13-year-old growing in size and personality. You are fully accepted in your new roles as a stepfather and as a husband. And as a cat's litterbox cleaner, of course. Yet you have issues finding your place in the new family setting. At least it feels like that. A bit shaky. But you are at "your place". Right where you stand/sit/lie... You are NOT in question. You are NOT under scrutiny. Nobody will sort you out, dismiss you, drop you. You're loved. So: relax. Chill. Take a deep breath. Or two. Or three... You are where you want to be. Love Your past self

Epilogue

over 1 year later

Looking back in anger...
One year later life had hit me in a really hard way...
Covid-19 hit the dancefloor, I was on short-term work, meaning: no work at...

Lla. A mnaorey asw ehalht byddu of mine tno.
Eispn hreyatp a ,escfetf had kcis u(,omume)itna i tiych thwi kwees eht tbeu lkie wsa eknc docl x4 septn aretw e'vi bydo rthesgnt dol nhigt nmtsho athb nksi, eth eth hte fro venagil anr,it g8ks swa kile ogt snki ni fhtgi ym 2 wks,ee deis het of esresxp i,csk ot slonig ym ni na lugy culmsse.
Htat sone lony k:woder eth ym dvoel ginht. . . .
Pu eivsrvu no to ghhi my wlil ptek ellev a eyht.
Ever wief bets. Ear pu ksid way eubtiluaf a wrngoig ni.
Hgint voidc hte is mmrseu in 2022 itlsl a fo.
Si nwe het as a gone tub ibkrn on iaycndacd a erps urptm of.
In aelpc rweop eth iiiww gikatn lla ,ergossrp rveo is hhedaisst.
Cmiaelt aesry alnif gcnhae 7 ftel llit.
Osthiry sebt ni podier reov si anumh.
Wngor bhuillts reepieecxn i nltyoji lwli cmeos the lla od htta we fsuft enev tisll frmo eth.
Snwe dab a imtinofrona fo feikrowr is. Iankuir alsav.
Rehrbot essedrosetvr htem ,icsk and atek cera fo igytnr si ot ym rae ym nestapr daed. Humc n'cat lphe i. Ghivan hwit eth iussse ioessur tidhesizolap sulgn.
Is btreet ngtgiet ti lal rntosf nto no.
Osen odvel tbu ym. . . Ntgsdain sontgr tisll.
Neibg taerhugd ynugo omecbe d,lay a ot ryrelntuc p-rgunwo emaceb famele nz rougesog ym in a.
Yussulcfcles ons mero ym orem dtefinonc is bonicegm gtneerea and dna anegchd a hoscol. . . .
Wfie adn my. . . Nad ebts fo ee!rv olotceilcn mfalee.
Os hcmu ehr velo. Nad akcb het onmo - & htne 2 aigna.

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