A letter from November 3rd, 2019

Hey 2020 me, enjoying being in a futuristic sounding year? I only just saw the email from 2018 come through; for some reason it was in spam. Honestly it's kinda depressing to read last year's email. You know, talking hopefully about the gym and the garden. In reality, I haven't made any progress with either. Am I happy? Sure, a lot of the time, but Ihave a lot of moments where I just feel so worthless, like nothing I am doing has any impact. As you can tell, this is one of those moments. Two nice things I can say in response to last year's email: I'm with Lily and I did get Dux again. Towards the end of last year I tried going for school captain but I didn't get it, which didn't feel good. Lily and I are nearing our 2 year anniversary, but things feel weird between us. There's not the same passion that used to be there; we barely spend any time together. I don't like what has happened to us. And lately I've been thinking a lot about how she's not allowed to stay over, especially seeing couples like Piam who can. I feel like we're missing out on a lot with that. It means that we can spend much less time together. By the way, it's 11:07 pm and it's the holidays. I still haven't watched Hot Shots Part Deux, even after all these years. Funnily enough Lukas messaged me recently and we've been talking a little. I had always thought about getting in contact with him again but wasn't sure how it would go down, so I'm glad we did reconnect. So, future me, plans for the year until you read this? Well, I think I should just focus on doing my best in school mostly. While I'll be happy with whatever gets me into the course I want to do, I'd say I'm aiming for a 90 ATAR. Above that and I'd be really really happy. I feel a bit worried about German though. I thought it would be my bludge subject a bit, but having seen the others at the seminar, I realise I need to work hard to be competitive against them. Anyway, I have a holiday class for maths tomorrow, so I really ought to go to bed now. I may send another email. I hope we're okay. Postscript 3/11/19 I'm single and aiming for a 95 ATAR now. I also drink at parties now.